In China, panicked parents fish for mates

Ray Manhattan, Kansas — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 19:24:56 GMT

The Chinese should start thinking about polyandry as practiced in one of its provinces called Tibet. (Tibet is a province of China, right?) Of course it is now illegal there, but the government in Beijing could fix that. Anyway, polyandry in its main version is where a woman may have more than one husband. Of course a woman would be obliged to treat every one of her husbands equally. Beijing (and other cities)could have polyandry fairs at least once every year, where women could come and bid on husbands who would be on display in booths in a central pavilion. Yes, I know this is a shocking and distasteful thought, but China needs to learn from Tibet, and this is where it could begin. It's either something like this, or the Chinese will be forced to return to those "good old days" where a man could have more than one wife (or concubines for that matter). Prostitution is no alternative. Yes indeed, polyandry might just be the solution to those Chinese wedding bell blues.

In China, panicked parents fish for mates

crossroads, shanghai, China — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 20:01:42 GMT

What is interesting about these, in Shanghai they are held at People's Park, is how there are different channels forming.. people advertised in parks are different than those who go to matchmakers.. and that while the desperation in the parks is almost exclusively parental, the desperation on the client side at these matchmakers.

Also interesting, and related to your previous post, is that women are beginning to take a more assertive role as they amass wealth, and rather than join a man's family... they are bringing men into their family. An issue we covered in our post China’s New Faces: Marrying into Her Family (http://china-crossroads.com/2009/01/21/chinas-new-faces-marrying-into-her-family/).

r
www.china-crossroads.com

In China, panicked parents fish for mates

Barb B. — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 20:04:11 GMT

Looks like the Chinese are going to have to "fish" in other waters where there are other large Chinese populatons, like Singapore and Malyasia. Unfortunately, here in the states, I've heard that of all the nationalities of husbands, Chinese make the worst. And that was from a girl, a Chinese college student. (But then, a Japanese girl told me that Japan produced the worst husbands, too.)

In China, panicked parents fish for mates

Greg, Princeton, Indiana — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 20:10:03 GMT

Why is the divorce rate so high in China?
I have seen numerous Chinese women looking for husbands, they should be married still.

In China, panicked parents fish for mates

ME, BELLEVILLE, NJ — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 20:12:36 GMT

WELL IF MEN CAN HAVE MORE THAN WIFE WHY CAN'T WOMEN HAVE MORE THAN ONE HUSBAND MAYBE THAT WILL WORK OUT FOR THE CHINESE. EVEN BETTER STOP RETRICTING THEM FROM ONLY HAVING ONE CHILD AND MAYBE THE WON'T KILL OR SELL OFF THE FEMALE BABIES. SOUNDS LIKE THE GOVERNMENT SCREWED UP AGAIN

In China, panicked parents fish for mates

D.F in KS — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 20:18:35 GMT

well maybe if people would stop killing there daughters or being ok with just having a daughter rather than a son, maybe they would not be in this predicament!

In China, panicked parents fish for mates

Unclegeekster — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 20:19:35 GMT

China needs more bars and more chicks!

In China, panicked parents fish for mates

Puss, Sunnyvale, CA — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 20:26:15 GMT

The problem with the Chinese culture is they value male much more than female. As one of my Chinese colleague has stated, "the Chinese government will face a harsh reality when there are not enough women to go around". As seen in recent documentaries, there are villages with no women in sight! And, in today's world, women are more independent and earn their own living, so they can be chosey when finding a mate.

In China, panicked parents fish for mates

joe — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 20:28:43 GMT

the chinese are limited to one child for a reason, they have over a billion people, the population must be controlled or they will suffer a culling through starvation.
multiple partners is not the solution, and quite frankly, the rate of birth needs to drop further. the more males they have without partners is a positive sign that the government plan is actually working and puts the life of the female children in a more valuable position.

In China, panicked parents fish for mates

I'm Moving to China!, Cleveland, OH — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 20:33:09 GMT

Hmmmm. If they're having difficulty bonding their children, why not a modified polygamy? To adjust for the unmarried ratio, each woman will have the right to five husbands, and each man has rights to four wives. Each woman is allowed two children. As population growth goes, that stabilizes population overgrowth.

Bwaa Haa Haa! Madness abounds.

In China, panicked parents fish for mates

Judge, CA — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 20:45:47 GMT

I type in capital letters because I am a raving lunatic. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

In China, panicked parents fish for mates

Katie, Syracuse, NY — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 20:45:59 GMT

I wish writers would proofread before their articles are posted online. I found at least 3 mistakes without even looking for them.

In China, panicked parents fish for mates

Duncan San Jose, CA — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 20:46:29 GMT

Mr. Ray from kansas, just like a typical American, always have to plan to solve everything even though you probably never been out of state let alone seen Tibet. Stick to Jayhawk basketball and try not to voice opinion about a Country you have never been to or seen.

In China, panicked parents fish for mates

TS — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 20:47:54 GMT

They brought this onto themselves. Now they're paying for another mistake they made years ago. Having the sons die alone or partner up with each other, that's the price they pay for being so sexist in this contemporary time.

In China, panicked parents fish for mates

MrChris — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 20:57:13 GMT

Gee, what a shock. Nobody in China wants to have a girl. Suddenly there are not enough girls for all the boys. This may not be the way the Chinese government meant for it to work out to control overpopulation. However, if they keep going the way they are, there will no longer be any women and a lot of very frustrated men. In which case, where overpopulation is concerned, problem solved (if there are no more women, then there will be no more babies).

In China, panicked parents fish for mates

Jen, Gibsonia, PA — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 20:58:56 GMT

To Ray in Manhattan--the answer is NOT polyandry, having women have more than one husband, the answer is NOT KILLING CHINESE FEMALE BABIES, for pete's sake! This problem wouldn't exist if people who only wanted sons (instead of being happy with whatever God gave them) didn't kill their baby girls, either in utero or after birth.

In China, panicked parents fish for mates

Frank Chung, Arcadia, CA — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 20:59:58 GMT

Polyandry may be not way to go for most conservative Chinese parents;such practice is very much against their tradition and culture which steeped in "perfect match" for both sides in terms of social status and financial ranking.Their one-child policy has backfired and created an unusual opportunity for female population to gain unforeseen advantage in picking their mates or afford them a better bargain.For those who engaged in female infancide in the past must kicked themselves now with profound regret and guilt now.Serve them right!

In China, panicked parents fish for mates

Marysia_Too — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 21:02:14 GMT

@Me: No, you don't want them to do that - they definitely need to restrict the growth of their population. The problem is that traditionally a girl joined the husband's family, so she was of no value to her own family once she got married. But maybe now with this shortage of women, a woman will be worth her weight in gold (good ol' capitalist supply and demand). Families will start to value their female children as much as they do their male children. That would certainly be a first in the history of China.

In China, panicked parents fish for mates

Philip, Phoenix, AZ — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 21:11:16 GMT

Maybe the shortage of women will force the Chinese to evnetually value girl babies more.

In China, panicked parents fish for mates

Jenny Yeh, Kent, WA — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 21:13:09 GMT

There are a lot of common misconceptions from the west regarding the cause of this phenomenon. Most blame it on the one child policy or the imbalance of gender, while the income imbalance may play a bigger role. Chinese are generally a lot more "choosy" about their spouses than westerners, and to make thing more complicated, parents have too much weight in the decision. It's not just a man has hard time finding a wife, a woman who is only a bit over the normal marriage age will have enormous difficulty in finding a husband because men are worried that she may not be a virgin any more, or she may be too old to produce children, etc. Adding to that, a lot of young women don't want to marry an ordinary men and live an ordinary life. That's too mundane and hopeless. Those men of status or money usually "support" several women in their lives. Some live quite far away from the man and only get to see him a few days or weeks a year. But as long as the man sent them money, and they can live a good life without working like a dog, that's worth it, in their eyes. And the marriage crisis is not just limited to singles. Married couples are endangered too. Young unmarried girls find it easier to make a living by fishing any man with means than to find work to support themselves these days. There are so many "cheap" girls around that a married man even with pretty good moral standing will find it hard not to succumb to temptations.

In China, panicked parents fish for mates

Marmot5 — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 21:17:00 GMT

It seems to me that much of this problem is of their own making. One child policy + men want sons = If the wife has a girl, the husband leaves the wife. many many single mothers with daughters there. Also, Chinese men all want to be with 20 year olds. If a woman is 30+, she is too old. Guess these guys are going to have to start dating "Older" women (30+) with children.

In China, panicked parents fish for mates

Steve Lohrb — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 21:36:01 GMT

A consequence of having over a billion people, with males being perceived as the more desirable progeny by parents. Rescinding the 1-child policy would be disastrous (the globe is tremendously overpopulated as it is - policies restricting birth number will eventually have to be adopted by other countries also). So, for the foreseeable future, this unfortunate situation for the Chinese male may persist.

In China, panicked parents fish for mates

M. Kloeckner, Gitwangak, British Columbia — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 21:37:50 GMT

The one child policy is there for good reason. What Chinese cutlure needs is a value shift recognising the indisputable importance of females. Perhaps the situation is a much needed wake-up call.

In China, panicked parents fish for mates

BG, Ponchatoula, LA — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 21:43:26 GMT

I am talking with a Chinese woman who lives in China. I have talked to several who were beaten. Chinese men treat their wives bad. Chinese men leave their kids with the mother so they can have another inside of another marriage. Chinese men do not want a woman who already has a child.

In China, panicked parents fish for mates

Amanda, Orlando, Fl. — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 21:50:29 GMT

I don't believe polyandry will solve it. That'll mean there will just be an increase in males because if a woman has say three husbands, and so therefore, three babies, that'll be three more males instead of more females in the way China's culture is. I say that they should be allowed two. One male, and one female. Not two males, or two females. Yes that'll still cause an abortion/infanticide, but it'll allow the birth of more 'wanted' females and hopefully a rise in the ratios.

In China, panicked parents fish for mates

Ruth J. Juhl — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 21:55:32 GMT

China is facing a demographic nightmare of tens of millions of young males with no corresponding females. As these men enter adulthood, they will become dangerous, almost invariably, and could cause social chaos, civil war, or war. Likewise, India has a similar problem.

In either case, about the only solution is state intervention to increase the relative number of females.

In China, panicked parents fish for mates

B,Pittsburgh,pa — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 22:21:43 GMT

I have never understood these societies that ONLY want male offsprings! Why is it that when the male:felame ratio becomes horribly skewed do think THEN start to think "well maybe we should encourage more female children"?

For a group of people that are supposed to be so smart, they really do have an ass-backwards way of looking at their repoduction policy!

In China, panicked parents fish for mates

Barbara, New York, New York — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 22:27:48 GMT

Due to the one child policy, there are more males than females in China's population. The government is concerned that this disproportion will destabilize the country and undermine the current political system. How do you keep excess males who do not have good prospects for work from acting out?

In China, panicked parents fish for mates

Greg — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 22:28:53 GMT

Here in Appalachia (eastern U.S.), the problem is quite different. The "average" person can not count on the offspring to support the parent in old age. The most common scenario, unfortunately, is the parent supporting the child through adulthood, through rehab, etc., until the parent dies. Even in a "good" scenario, insurance for an entire family is impossible to afford, getting a job requires stabbing someone in the back, and feeding a bunch of babies is as hard as foraging through a jungle. I am so lucky that I had the foresight to have a vasectomy before I had any kids, considering that my newly unemployed friends are getting their groceries for their families at the Salvation Army. I'm not making big bucks, but I don't have to attend some ridiculous match-making conference to pawn off my kids so that they can take care of me when I get old. Making babies for the sole purpose of insuring your own well-being in your old age is selfish and humliating. A cultural shift is required in countries such as China where children are viewed as insurance, rather than humans.

In China, panicked parents fish for mates

Barbara, New York, New York — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 22:29:17 GMT

In China, panicked parents fish for mates

Lea, England, UK — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 22:33:10 GMT

maybe now the chinese will stop aborting or drowning infant girls

In China, panicked parents fish for mates

DryHumper Seattle WA — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 22:36:57 GMT

after reading this, I no longer worry about the Chinese taking over the world. I think they are going to legislate themselves into extintion.

In China, panicked parents fish for mates

Jose Luis, Houston, TX — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 22:39:18 GMT

My wife is chinese. I wasn't looking for a chinese wife per say, I was looking for love and found her. And no I'm not Chinese, I'm from American from Hispanic descent. Anyways, we had a normal courtship and marriage.

In China, panicked parents fish for mates

ikazuchi — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 22:42:53 GMT

Why don't they just share girlfriends & boyfriends, husband & wives? You know... the Communist way! Better yet, if the government should force pair singles together. Problem solved... the Communist way!

In China, panicked parents fish for mates

strained empathy — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 22:48:18 GMT

female infanticide....
"Girls now are so choosy, they are very hard to please" (read: men no longer have control over women)...

call it Karma...results of their actions.

In China, panicked parents fish for mates

Alberto, Porto Alegre, Brazil — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 22:51:39 GMT

Why not just import women from regions where the ratio of women to men is much higher, like latin america for example. Over there, there is 10 females for every 1 male in the population. They're very beautiful because of the intense competition, smart, and highly educated.

In China, panicked parents fish for mates

MNS — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 22:57:34 GMT

I guess the young men in China will have to go where all the unwanted Chinese female babies were shipped to: The USA! This may make internet dating boom in ways never dreamed of.

In China, panicked parents fish for mates

Chris Jonas — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 23:02:41 GMT

Ok people I will makethis simple and easy to understand. There are way too many people on planet earth. I for one have chose not to have any children. However the world as a whle is WAY overpopulated. What the real question should be is how are we going to wind down the amount of people on the planet without anyone suffering any more than they are now? With less people on the planet we will have:
1 more food
2 more fuel
3 more room
4 less polution
5 less cars on the road
thats just the beginning. We all have to make sacrifies if the world is to move along and not turn into something out of a science fiction movie.
So it is not just China but the world. China, India, Malasyia, and any other country coming up on one billion population. Think long and hard people because this is not going away until the world as a whole decides to stop.

In China, panicked parents fish for mates

Oscar, San Diego, CA — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 23:09:24 GMT

It's not that simple. The reason the Chinese government implemented the one-child policy in the first place is to slow down population growth. According to the government, the one-child policy has prevented 250 million more people from being born since 1979. Can you imagine if China had 250 million more people?

In China, panicked parents fish for mates

Joan Haselman — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 23:33:07 GMT

Social engineering at its worst. Restricting families to one child - forced abortion - finding a wife that will please *mama*. What a nightmare. Will we ever learn. I seem to remember Pope Paul VI predicting this in a papal document he wrote in July 1968. Humanae Vitae, it was called.

In China, panicked parents fish for mates

melissa bishop Texas — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 23:34:20 GMT

The one child policy has kept the Chinese from their cyclic famines where millions starne to death.
I south America there are Indian tribes in the mountains that practice female infanticide because it is the males that support the parents. So they are in the same state. A woman marries all the brothers of a family. Therefore she purpetuates all the brothers family genes, yet has mant husbands to support her and her offspring so all survive. Additionally, a woman can take care of several males sexually. A man can't. From one who knows :)

In China, panicked parents fish for mates

michael, parker, az — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 23:53:29 GMT

They would have more women in China if the parents didnot murder the female children. Chinese want sons, not daughters.

In China, panicked parents fish for mates

9th step — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 00:12:47 GMT

Such a nice people. If you've never been to China then you don't really know anything about the place. I was born and raised in southwest America. Went over there and was I ever surprised. I had believed everything that was published by the media here. Bad idea. To have 17% more men is only going to bring the Chinese people more hardship. Think about for a minute. That equates to the entire population of America being only men. Well close to it. What a nightmare. Chinese folks have a history of killing each other. Americans on the other hand can go somewhere and just kill a bunch poeple because our security is at risk. With 250 million more men in China there may be a blood bath coming. I hope not. The country is so nice.

In China, panicked parents fish for mates

August Sean, Porland, Oregon — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 00:39:07 GMT

I think it is a shame what is going on in China, but quite frankly they have no other option then to continue the one child policy, which in effect causes an imbalance in their sex ratio. With a population of over 1.3 billion people and only 14.6% of their land arable, a large increase in population would put stress on their agricultural system that is already exhausted by strong demands.

In China, panicked parents fish for mates

Kristen Scott — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 00:46:07 GMT

Seems kinda sad, like the swan song of an ancient culture and the custom of filfial responsibility....
This is a small price to pay to end female infanticide, another ancient chinese ritual.

In China, panicked parents fish for mates

Clare, Orlando, FL — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 01:05:54 GMT

There wouldn't be such desperation on the part of the parents if they knew there are enough females for each of their sons. But now that there is such an excess of males, no wonder the parents are worried and the ladies can be so picky. Evil policies(killing off the baby girls) always has unpleasant consequences.

In China, panicked parents fish for mates

Cheryl Lee Queensbury Ny — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 01:15:24 GMT

Many men from other countries desire Chinese wives because they are more traditional. In Japan some young women refuse to marry due to the obligation to aging parents. Men from the Island off China's coast do not like the modern women of their country. As a result the women are looking husband abroad.

In China, panicked parents fish for mates

Ian Blokesworth — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 01:18:00 GMT

At least the Chinese take marriage, the foundation of every society, seriously. The USA is home of the six-year and same-sex marriage. The rest of the world should just ignore American advice on how to run a society.

In China, panicked parents fish for mates

mark steely, carbondale, illinois — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 01:21:15 GMT

well...maybe it's time for gay liberation to hit china...that should take care of about ten percent of the 22 million guys. don't think for a second that all of those available guys are straight.

In China, panicked parents fish for mates

josh — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 03:02:14 GMT

And over in Belleville NJ, I bet their government is doing alot better :)...I wonder what it would be like if China didn't loan us $$$ to help our nation survive. Without the Chinese, our country would be in a 10 times worst position then we are now.

In China, panicked parents fish for mates

Honey Chen,Shanghai,China — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 03:28:33 GMT

I am from Shanghai China.This report reflect the marriage problem in most city in China truly.Some steps had be taken by the goverment to avoid this problem from being more urgent.But it seems to have no effect.And this problem can not be solved in good time.Wo have a long way to go.

In China, panicked parents fish for mates

Joel — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 05:49:15 GMT

This kind of thing isn't so uncommon in China. I've visited Tianjin's "marriage market" several times (they have it every weekend). Friendliest crowds in the whole city! We took some photos here: http://chinahopelive.net/2008/08/17/photos-from-a-saturday-bike-trip-around-tianjin

In China, panicked parents fish for mates

fleming,shanghai,china — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 07:51:53 GMT

How silly it is for people to think that we chinese males could let such things like polyandry happen in china.The Tibet people is not the dominant power in china.For us Han group,we would better chose to be single rather than sharing a wife with others.

In China, panicked parents fish for mates

Ray Manhattan, Kansas — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 14:19:58 GMT

Since my suggestions for polyandry have been rejected, how about promoting more Gay and Lesbian causes in China? In addition to helping out with overpopulation, Gays and Lesbians could also adopt homeless and unwanted children. I'm serious! Surely there must be a sufficient Gay and Lesbian community in China. Think about it. Promote Gay and Lesbian rights in China!

In China, panicked parents fish for mates

Justin — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 19:18:26 GMT

Most of the population imbalance comes largely from rural areas in which the population is largely uneducated and the need for manual labor is greater demand (hence desire for male offspring). The imbalance issue is not really an issue this generation has to face, especially since most people mentioned are 30-40ish. Its the next one that has to deal with it the recent gender imbalance as babies don't turn 30-40 in span of few years.

20 years allows for a lot of changes and Chinese have a habit of travelling. Look to Africa or other Asias of interest in China most are almost all men and they could probably mingle with indigenous population. The men who can't find in mate in China could probably go to Russia (which has an imbalanced ratio of women to men, and recent years there has been a lot more coupling of russian women chinese men) same with vietnam.

In China, panicked parents fish for mates

Tod — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 19:23:32 GMT

With its return to the pinnacle of economic and political power and 22 million expendable men we might as well wait for the inevitable Chinese takeover of the rest of the planet.

In China, panicked parents fish for mates

Dawson, London — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 22:54:36 GMT

Well for a country with such a huge population, it is not exactly a problem if a few males don't get to breed. The country is going to remain the world's most populous country for the foreseeable future.

The males will just have to work harder at bettering themselves, making them more attractive to the opposite sex and ultimately, at least in theory, only the ones with superior physical or intellectual attributes will get to breed, which might actually improve the overall genetic quality of its population over long periods of time and be a benefit to the country.

After all, we are the product of continuous natural selection or artificial selection. China might just be going through a more competitive version of that relative to the rest of us. If we believe natural selection has made us better or superior than our pre-historic ancestors then China will emerge from this dillemma better and stronger.

In China, panicked parents fish for mates

Dawson, London — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 23:10:29 GMT

Well said Flemming, I don't see 'polyandry' being practiced in America or Europe, at least not legally in case there are exceptions I don't know about.

I didn't know that Tibetans practiced this or how widely practiced if they did. Are there a lot of Tibetan children who are not sure which father is their biological father?

I think China does not need to do anything about it. It is not a national crisis because it is not about to run out of people. If anything, the country still lacks sufficient infrastructure i.e. roads, telecom, power networks to support all of its existing inhabitants, which is why such a big portion of the government spending goes into infrastructure.

There are lonely souls in every corner of the world. The right way to tackle this would be for the individuals to be more outgoing and more sociable and do their utmost best to seek a mate as would be the advice to any single person anywhere else in the world.

In China, panicked parents fish for mates

Joyce, Wintersville, Ohio — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 01:23:49 GMT

One aspect that is not getting much thought is that when you have 24 million males without mates, you have 24 million potential gang members. Males without mates, that is unsettled young men, may eventually cause a violence problem.

In China, panicked parents fish for mates

Alicia, Shanghai, China — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 02:20:22 GMT

If you want to know the real China, please learn Chinese,come to China, to feel and live in China for a while. I think that will help u guys talks more objectively.

In China, panicked parents fish for mates

matt somewhere in China — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 02:26:07 GMT

Chinese students are under intense pressure to study hard and are often sent away at an early age to schools far from home.They are away from home without the loving support of their families and end up relying on their friends and teachers for advice.With all of this pressure and lack of nurturing support it is not surprising to me that many have great difficulty socializing and finding husbands or wives.I was on my own at 18 and many are in these schools living among their peers at an even earlier age.These are the luckiest ones.They will have the benefit of an education and i might add an austere education.

In China, panicked parents fish for mates

Tony — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 02:43:46 GMT

There is a trend in Vietnam where Chinese, Taiwanese, Japanese and South Koreans traveling back to Vietnam to purchase/look for a bride. It is sadden that many of these bridesmaids are exploited and mistreated when they get back to their husband's country.

In China, panicked parents fish for mates

K.pipur Austin,Texas — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 03:45:17 GMT

I do not feel sorry in the least for these
unmarried men.I have been in China,and believe me
the single Chinese women for the most part are not
looking for Chinese husbands.Even while they are
still young and beautiful with one child,the husband
will leave them in a heartbeat for another women
with no children.If you don't beleive me,log on to
the Chinese "Singles web sites "and read their
profiles.85% are lovely women with a child and no
husband.

In China, panicked parents fish for mates

dating deals, New York — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 07:20:58 GMT

China has got to have some very dissatisfied single people, and by people, I mean men.
It's kind of sad really about the 31 year old sea cucumber salesman, but with men outnumbering women Chinese women can afford to be very picky about who they will date or even marry.
And some people think the bar scene in America is tough.

In China, panicked parents fish for mates

vic, l.a., ca — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 07:26:46 GMT

HA!!!
maybe they should have thought about THAT before deciding boys are precious and girls are useless, subject to being sold, dumped, killed...!

In China, panicked parents fish for mates

Julie, Seoul, South Korea — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 08:08:11 GMT

Hmm. I guess the Western ritual of getting drunk at a bar, having a one night stand and waking up pregnant isn't working for them. Can't imagine why.

In China, panicked parents fish for mates

Rosie, Orange, CA — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 08:15:40 GMT

To Duncan from San Jose- I don't care what country you have or have not visited, there is no justification for infanticide. I'm glad China's screwed themselves over w/their BS gender discrimination plan. Let them deal with the mess they created. It's not our problem- all the best to them & their correcting their poor decision making. But thank God for once the US gov't isn't stepping in to help bail out other countries from their piss-poor. misguided decisions.

In China, panicked parents fish for mates

Tib-girl — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 08:46:59 GMT

Why just copy polyandry from Tibet? What about the mormon tradition of having multiple wives for one man? In Tibet's case, yes we did have that practice in remote farming communities, where it was more convenient for a man to marry two women (usually sisters), just so that all the farm work and the wealth of the family would stay within the family. But then it doesn't just work for men alone. A woman can also have two men (usually brothers) to come join her family.

In China, panicked parents fish for mates

alfredo ricciotti — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 08:51:34 GMT

For 'Alberto, Porto Alegre, Brazil', wikipedia says that the male/female ratio in brasil is 0.983 male(s)/female of reproductive age (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Demographics_of_Brazil). So, please check your made-up data before posting.

In China, panicked parents fish for mates

Tecla, Harare — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 09:07:12 GMT

In Zimbabwe we have more women than men, im moving to China. China however is in deep trouble, i suggest Chineese men should migrate and marry abroad.

In China, panicked parents fish for mates

M Cachia, Sliema, Malta — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 09:21:30 GMT

What's the fuss about having to get married if you enjoy being single?

In China, panicked parents fish for mates

Horus — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 09:53:49 GMT

China needs a modern pension system so older people can have security. The reason couples want boys is so someone will take care of them in their old age and a strong lineage can occur to help with that. Economic modernization would help that problem so the sex of the child wouldn't matter so much. Having a daughter instead of a son can be an economic disadvantage in an older style farming culture but in an industrial and post industrial system that issue is no longer valid. China is in the middle of that transition right now and stubborn ways take a generation or so to go away. Prosperity and population are usually inversely proportional and China is about at the crossover point and should see it's numbers drop off in the future so eventually the one child policy won't be needed anymore. If they had modernized years ago it would never have been needed.

In China, panicked parents fish for mates

reap what you sow — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 10:36:15 GMT

It seems since Chinese parents especialy mothers value sons more and are so concerned about their sons supporting them in their old age they have them all to themselves.

In China, panicked parents fish for mates

just sayin usa — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 10:38:00 GMT

maybe they should stop having babies.. they are overpopulated enough.. let a billion or more die before they worry about everyone hookin up and havin kids

In China, panicked parents fish for mates

Tanya, India — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 11:02:06 GMT

They should Visit India. People have been doing this for years.

In China, panicked parents fish for mates

Sigurd Roehwedder — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 11:20:36 GMT

Well--Chinese women are more picky now that they have a bit more opportunity-- SURPRISE, SURPRISE, SURPRISE-- Good for them!. They have been badly treated and viewed as disposable creatures (not even human) in China for so long. Significantly it was the parents dragging Junior around to try and find a bride. Perhaps, just perhaps, if they taught their sons tht they weren't so muckin' fuch, and women were the prize they had to strive for things would be different and junior could get a wife on his own.

In China, panicked parents fish for mates

R/T in Nashville — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 11:43:46 GMT

Chinese women are becoming "Too Picky"?

No, they are just becoming Westernized and like the women in the USA. American women are beyond "Picky", they have become delusional. They either want their "Prince Charming" or someone who makes over a 100 K a year.

The divorced 30 to 40 year old group is the worst. After they divorce and go on their own, they are looking to find someone to bail them out of their massive debt.

Welcome to Western Civilization, Chinese men!

In China, panicked parents fish for mates

Melanie Sinclair, California — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 12:31:48 GMT

With infanticide and their one child policy this outcome was only a matter of time. The end does not justify the means. Guess where all the girls are? In orphanages being adopted out to other countries.

In China, panicked parents fish for mates

Wendi, Victor, New York — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 12:45:04 GMT

Perhaps the Chinese culture needs a better moral compass. When foreigners blame the Chinese government for an individual's choice to abort we assign blame incorectly. Isn't it true that determining the sex of a fetus through ultrasound is illegal in China? I believe that is a GOOD government policy from a communist government. Any one government shouldn't be stereotyped as all bad or all good.

In China, panicked parents fish for mates

AM- Virginia — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 13:01:32 GMT

I see a lot of comments mentioning the preference of males in this society. Hopefully, people realize it is not just the Chinese society that has this preference, it abounds all over the world. In many countries, such as Egypt, etc- male babies are valued more than female babies. As for the Chinese men preferring younger women that, too, is another occurance that happens all over the world all too frequently, just look at American men.

In China, panicked parents fish for mates

Jake Johanson, Yeah, Rt — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 13:03:55 GMT

Josh- You're clueless. If China didn't have over 1 billion people, they wouldn't have a work force making next to nothing mass producing items to export. This puts American businesses out of business because we have a minimum wage equal to 4 Chinese hourly rates, or more.

In China, panicked parents fish for mates

Paula Callahan, Corpus Christi, TX — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 13:11:12 GMT

I lived for 5 years in China, and the country isn't anything like the people here seem to think it is. That one child is treated like a little emperor (or empress). They may want a boy, but they LOVE their children, male or female. They spend the family fortune marrying them off. And with this coming crisis of too few females, they are terrified of things like rape, kidnapping and enslavement of their girls. The specter of war becomes all too real in a country with too many boys being born. For us to laugh at their plight is dangerously naive and shows (yet again) our purely American hubris. Who will be poking fun at whom in twenty years? Will there be anyone left to laugh? This isn't just a Chinese problem, people. They have nukes.

In China, panicked parents fish for mates

caremen — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 13:16:23 GMT

the bottom line is this. Abortion caused it. Stop killing babies and the problem will go away within a generation or so.
Next, the women can divorce and marry literally whoever they want, being as choosy as they want, because there are so many men to choose from. It is a woman's world over there in that sense.

In China, panicked parents fish for mates

mike smith, antigua — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 13:16:26 GMT

whatever we do, restricting world population involves negative consequences of some sort.

In China, panicked parents fish for mates

Herb, IN — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 13:22:13 GMT

Whst ever happened to the excitement of finding someone for yourself? I can only imagine what would have came about if my mother picked my partner. You might as well auction these singles off for money. What a nightmare

In China, panicked parents fish for mates

patrick — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 13:24:15 GMT

I am sorry 24 million men they would not miss in a case of war.

In China, panicked parents fish for mates

Kai Li — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 13:32:12 GMT

The previous suggestion of polyandry would definitely assist in population control, as well as allowing men to marry when there are fewer women than men. It's simple biology. Men can impregnant many women all at once, but once a woman creates a child, she's got nearly a year before she's able to conceive again. Have all her husbands treat the child as their own and you've got multiple sets of happy grandparents AND you've seen to it that the children of your nation will be cared for. Problems solved.

In China, panicked parents fish for mates

Teri,Asheville, NC — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 13:40:04 GMT

You can blame the Chinese culture of favoring males offspring over female offspring, you can blame the Chinese government for the one child policy, but the bigger point is, what is the answer to over-population? What do you think is the best way to address it in YOUR country when it becomes imperative to do so? The real problem is, there is no good answer. Any solution is going to involve sacrifice on a wide scale. When you see the Chinese dilemma....you are getting a preview of what is waiting for all humanity.

In China, panicked parents fish for mates

Gary Israel — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 13:46:42 GMT

I've been to China many times in the last 10 years and I have embraced their culture and beliefs. Because of my openness to them I have been introduced to a woman that is charming, intelligent and beautiful. But she is overlooked by the men of her country because she is just beyond child bearing age (or so they say), 40, and has been married once before and is now divorced. She had a baby girl which was taken from her and raised by her ex-husbands family. It is their loss. But it is my gain. We will be married in July and look forward to building a new family.

In China, panicked parents fish for mates

S Carlina, Port Angeles, WA — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 13:53:55 GMT

"Those men of status or money usually "support" several women in their lives. Some live quite far away from the man and only get to see him a few days or weeks a year. But as long as the man sent them money, and they can live a good life without working like a dog, that's worth it, in their eyes"

Hmmm...a rich husband that supports you in a nice lifestyle, whose ego you only have to bother putting up with a few days a year, and don't even have to live in the same city with... sounds like an ideal arrangement!

I jest, really. China is dealing with the consequences of their sexist culture, just as the rest of the world does in ways not so obvious to the casual observer. The real question is will we as a global culture recognize the damage that sexism (imposed by cultural mores or government laws) does and stop it before we destory ourselves as a species?

In China, panicked parents fish for mates

Jim — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 14:03:38 GMT

The result of a nation in its current state is that of their government/leader generations prior, Not of the current people or its current Government. Criticisms of its current state at its current people is not right. Surely, America's current state of economy is the built up of its previous leaders decisions, not overnight. Criticising at Americans of today is not right either. So don't knock it, Mate. The gender inbalance that the Chinese are facing is mother nature/karma...have in play for previous generations failure in education and leadership. Having over valued males in the past, does not mean females to be over valued in the present. The lesson need being neither gender to be overvalued (they call this discrimination, now days), but self value and competition to value a person on their own accord and respective contribution to the society they live in. In so living standards of human civilisation can grow, not just the population. Grow wise, not old. The Government/Leaders of today have significantly more burdens to face than ever especially with the significant number of population and different views that comes with it. It is refreshing to see China Government encouraging match-making despite its one child policy and other population control policies still in play. A Step in the Positive, not mentioning raising a few bucks or two.

In China, panicked parents fish for mates

Nick L., Petoskey, Michigan — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 14:09:45 GMT

There is a simple alteration to the one child policy which would solve the male to female ratio problem, while hardly increasing the birthrate at all. They just have to let them have children until they have a male child. Without getting into the math, basically the "unlucky" people who have lots of girls before they have a boy will normalize the gender imbalance, and nobody will feel the need to abort girls anymore.

In China, panicked parents fish for mates

leos beijing — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 14:24:02 GMT

in fact, there are more ladies in china who fail to find husbands. I am one of them.

look this
------------------- (female)
----------------------------- (male)
china is just like those two lines, they are dislocated
the female remainders are elites who could make their living and make the world more beautiful. unfortunately, the male remainders are the outcomes of the female infanticide. their parents are unintelligent and underprivileged, so woo....

In China, panicked parents fish for mates

Kay A, New York, NY — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 14:26:14 GMT

How refreshing it would be to have more responses to this article from Chinese, rather than persons who seem to be bashing them knowing little about their culture, upbringing or way of life. One poster even suggested that "they are overpopulated enough.. let a billion or more die" :(

In China, panicked parents fish for mates

Tibet — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 14:30:19 GMT

Ray Manhattan,Do you know what you are talking about? We have been fighting freedom from the Chinese and you want to introduce polyandry into our Tibet? Have you lost your mind? If you think having more than one wife in Tibet could solve the problem,i want to try it with your wife first.Shut up for good!

In China, panicked parents fish for mates

I like Eggs, Cooler King, USA — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 14:41:59 GMT

It's a tough situation. It's hard for me to feel bad for people who resort to abortion and infanticide because they want a boy.

Think about the couples world wide who want cildren so badly but can't conceive their own.

Stop...Think about it.