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Afghan girls burn themselves to escape marriage

Posted: Thursday, October 29, 2009 12:04 PM
Filed Under:

HERAT, Afghanistan – We watched a teenage girl die last Friday.

Seventeen-year-old Shirin had been brought to the Herat Regional Hospital Burns Unit a few days before we met her. Ninety percent of her body was covered in third-degree burns.

Her mother-in-law said Shirin had burned herself by accident. The girl was preparing a meal in the kitchen but somehow confused cooking gasoline with petrol, she said. 

But Dr. Mohamed Aref Jalali, the director of the burns unit, said Shirin told him in private that she had set herself on fire deliberately after fighting with her mother-in-law and her sister-in-law.

Adrienne Mong/ NBC News
Rezagul set herself on fire to escape her marriage to an abusive and much older husband.

SLIDESHOW: See other images of Afghan victims of self-immolation

Many girls in Afghanistan think self-immolation is the best solution for family problems, according to Jalali.

"[For these girls], it’s no good to solve the problem with the father-in-law, with the mother-in-law," said the doctor. "They think self-immolation will solve the problem."

It’s a "solution" that appears to be a major problem in Afghanistan, particularly among young women between the ages 13 and 25.

In the first seven months of this year, medical staff at the Herat’s burns unit – the only one of its kind in the entire country – said they have seen 51 cases of female self-immolation. Only 13 have survived.   

The practice comes from Iran, where many Afghan refugees had fled to during the decade-long war with the Soviet Union (1979-1989) and the era of mujahedeen fighting that followed in the 1990s, said Jalali. But its popularity has spread among Afghan women, often from poor, uneducated backgrounds, where the tradition of child or forced marriages runs strong.

"The forced marriage is the best reason and the important reason, and it starts from the economic problem," said Jalali. 

Often in arranged marriages, women are viewed in very stark terms. 

"She is here only to wash, to clean, to give baby … and nothing more," said Marie-Jose Brunel, a French volunteer nurse at the burns unit who was full of Gallic warmth and purposeful seriousness. "If they have no freedom, no possibility to study, to be considered like nothing, it’s very, very difficult."

VIDEO: Afghan girls burn themselves to escape marriage misery

Domestic violence 
Shirin was married two years ago when she was 15 years old.  

But another patient we found at the hospital, down the hall from Shirin, was Rezagul. Skinny and illiterate, the 13-year-old was married at 11 to a man who was almost 20 years older. He was abusive, she told us, beating her whenever she failed to do her housework. So did her in-laws. "My cruel sister-in-law, brother-in-law, and husband … they beat me," she said. 

Out of frustration and homesickness for her own family, Rezagul took drastic action.

"I was in very bad condition," she recalled. "I poured gasoline on myself and set myself on fire. I didn’t want to be alive." The burns covered the lower half of her body.

It took several months for her skin to heal properly and she was currently back at the clinic because of chronic kidney pain. Jalali said he would need to finish reconstructive surgery on Rezagul but with physical therapy she would recover nicely.

On the day we visited, Rezagul looked well-adjusted and almost happy. She was no longer married. Her father had welcomed her back home. She was excited about starting to go to school for the first time in her life.

In fact, with her burns covered up, Rezagul looked the picture of health as Brunel, the nurse, teased her – a testament to the success of the burns unit.

Adrienne Mong/ NBC News
At least half of the victims at the Herat Regional Hospital Burns Unit are young children injured in everyday domestic accidents.

Filling a critical void
Brunel, who is usually based in the south of France and volunteers her time at the clinic through the French non-governmental organization HumaniTerra International, has been working with the burn unit’s senior medical team since 2003. 

In fact, she was instrumental in starting up the unit – originally as part of the main hospital with only a handful of beds and no trained staff – after a meeting with then-governor of Herat, Ismael Khan, who emphasized the need for a place to treat burns.

In October 2007, after years of fundraising, planning, and training, Brunel and her Afghan colleagues opened the treatment center we were visiting. 

On average, it receives 600 to 700 burn patients a year, the majority of whom are victims of domestic accidents, mostly children. In fact, one ward had dozens of infants – most of them with various limbs wrapped up in gauze and bandages, usually from boiling water that had spilled over from a kettle.

Still, a significant portion of the patients are victims of self-immolation – at least 10 percent, according to statistics kept by the burn unit. "In 2003, when we started, we estimate 350 [self-immolation] cases a year for Herat," recalled Brunel. The number has decreased – at least for those victims from Herat Province – after the hospital and the local government launched a public awareness campaign.

"We have seen decreases," said Brunel. "And I hope with the second year of [the public awareness] campaign, it’s better again."

But they need funding, and time. While the incidents of self-immolation from within the province may be on the decline, cases from outside Herat are on the rise. 

"It’s going to the other provinces," said Jalali. "Now we have patients from Farah Province, from Nimruz, from Badgis, from Helmand."

Adrienne Mong/ NBC News
The burns unit at the Herat Regional Hospital is the only one of its kind in Afghanistan.

A lost life
During our visit, we checked back on Shirin every now and then. She had long ago slipped into a delirious state and was murmuring nonstop. Her mother, Hanifa Ahmadi, hovered around her, occasionally stroking her hair. 

Ahmadi – a thin, handsome woman who looks more Persian than Afghan – said she didn’t understand why her daughter had set herself on fire. "Shirin is always a happy girl and gets along with everyone," she said.

Ahmadi was convinced that Shirin would soon recover and leave the hospital, but Jalali was unequivocal. 

"She doesn’t have long. Maybe she has one hour, an hour-and-a-half," he said. "It’s unfortunate, but we can’t do anything. Not with 90 percent burns all over the body, third-degree burns."

Brunel agreed. "We can do nothing except … we give dignity," she said. She and an Afghan orderly had taken turns trying to make Shirin as comfortable as possible – giving her a tube to make her breathing easier, feeding her, or just straightening the blankets that covered her burnt body.

The end came later than Jalali had predicted, but come it did. Six hours after we first met Shirin, she died. 

Members of her family rushed past us in the hallway, her mother, then her uncle, an aunt, and then her husband – he looked more confused than grief-stricken. They piled into Shirin’s room, wailing, walking back and forth around her bed, hands wringing; even the mother-in-law, with whom the young girl had been fighting just days before.

We stepped away quietly, gathering our things, preparing to leave and trying not to intrude.

But as we walked down the hallway one last time, I ducked my head into the room where Rezagul lay. She looked up, her eyes aglow, and she waved.

The picture of health.

Click here to watch Adrienne Mong's report on Herat's burn unit from NBC Nightly News with Brian Williams. See more of Brian Williams special reports from Afghanistan.

For more information about the Humaniterra organization and their work at the Herat Burn Center in Afghanistan, click here.

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Comments

At an age where most western girls are understood to be children, these young ones are being shoved into adult womanhood against their will.  This is not Islam--it's nowhere in the Quran--it's tribal and it's a human rights violation.  The U.S. government will at least sometimes move against nationwide abuse that includes men, but if it is limited only o women and/or children, we accept that as the norm and turn our eyes away.  We may spill voluminous verbiage about equal rights, but until human rights violations unique to women are given the same importance as those against men, then we are lying.  
How very sad that these youngs girls feel they have no other recourse.
How very horrible and sad.  
I feel so sad reading this article.  I would never question anyone's religious or cultural beliefs, I know I have my own and it is my right to believe the way I wish but there is something wrong when you feel you need to set yourself afire to end your marriage that you didn't want in the first place.  The countries like Afghanastan should not change for the United States or any other country but they should change promote change regarding these barbaric practices for their own country.  Allowing women to mutiliate or kill themselves so they won't be forced into marriages they don't wish to be a part of or not allowing someone to get out of a marriage which forces this type of behavior is wrong.  There has to be a different value system set up for matched marriages and for when married individuals don't get along so that the woman can go home to her family.
This is one of the most upsetting things I have read in a long time. I don't even know what to say except this has to be stopped. It's digusting what these girls are forced to do.
It is ashame that some cultures only value women as servants.  That should never happen.  This is one reason that the Taliban and other religious zelots are just plain crazy.  To me, they are dening the other half of ourselves.  Why should we deny anyone the chance to learn and help everyone if they are a woman (or Black or Jew or other group that isn't like the majority)?   This is the thing that baffles me.  If they can't keep it in their pants, then they should remove themselves to island of men only.  
Ron Artest bringing awareness, too, thanks!http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tv2tTRg9QuU
It's very sad to see these girls having to take such drastic measures to excape their horrible in-laws and husbands. An outsider looking in one could say there are other options but sometimes death is the only way out. I know first hand. I was married against my will, raped, beaten, starved and emotionally abused for almost 3 months. I also thought that jumping from the 3rd floor would be the only way out. I didn't kill myself but I did manage to leave and file for divorce but only after convincing my family that I was better off without being stabbed and beaten whenever those people felt like abusing me. For Muslims divorce is taboo. I can put myself in the shoes of those girls and say for a fact that death as harsh as it is is better than being constantly abused by a evil husband and in-laws.
This is why no women should date or marry a Muslim man. It's not politically correct to say it but that culture denigrates women. It's better to be alone than to be considered chattel.
Every day I thank God that I was born in the US to enlightened and educated people who loved me enough to give me options in life.  Women are worth less than goats in some cultures.  
My feelings exactly, I would rather set myself on fire than get married....
Had lunch with a 79 year old who lived much of his life in the middle east.  He said we don't have a clue as to how they think and stepping into Afganistan in some cased could be stepping halfway back to the stone age.  Women in Afganistan for the most part have had no rights at all. The unhappiness of young married women has most likely gone on for centuries, we just have not been aware of it.
This story brought tears to my eyes, but reality is that this has been going on for decades in other countries like India, and although things are changing, when you are poor and uneducated and live in a Rural area change does not come so quickly.  As a Woman, Mother, Daughter, my heart and prayers go out to all those young girls that are suffering and have no voice
It is very sad to know that this is a life that we all could have.  Luckily we have the freedom here to marry who we love and who we choose to marry.  I hope these young women survive and live the lives they deserve.  My heart goes out to those who feel this is their only way out.  I hope one day things change and they can become apart of a society that recognizes them for a person not a maid.
This story is terribly sad. I could never image life as bad as what these girls see and go through each day. I know I am truly blessed and my prayers go out to everyone affected in this story and anyone else who has had to deal with this.
In America it's cutters, in Afganistan it's burners.  In most cases I cannot understand why emotionally distraught girls mar their own bodies, but here it seems as though they are trying to release themselves from domestic abuse in a society where domestic abuse is an accepted practice.  They have no other escape and it is sad.  My comments may not be politically correct, but they are true.
This is the culture of poor Islam and the main reason for islamic extremism. Religious fervor is just the excuse used for terrorism. What the culture is desperately trying to preserve is the complete subjugation of their women. There is nothing more threatening to an islamic man than a smart, educated and well off and independant woman. The only chance most islamic women have for a happy life is to escape to the west. How many kill themselves in other ways besides trying to burn themselves alive? How many are killed by their family?
It's very sad that women are stil treated as chattel in many parts of the world.  I can only imagine the thoughts that go through the mind of anyone treated so carelessly by their own parents, those who are supposed to love and protect them.
I feel for these girls, so low their self worth. The only they have is their survival. How lucky we are in America.
I am against all forms of marriage.  If two people need a piece of paper/contract/church ruling/civil license in order to stick it out and stay together, then they shouldn't be together.

Learn self defense and your man will never bother you again.
wow..I think this story deserve more attention. This is the first time I have heard of this happening. I will definitely keep all of these kids in my prayers. I truly believe these kids can be reached and taught not to give up on a 'hopeless' situation.
OMG! Wake up world and see what is going on here.  We MUST persevere and win the afganistan fight if not just for democracy for the safety and rights of these enslaved women.
If these young women owned oil wells, you can bet that the US government would be storming the countryside in their defense, right now, today.

And isn't that sad.
I think that it is very sad that these girls think that death is their only way out of a bad situation and that has been what they have been taught for so many years. I think someone needs to open a counseling center for girls sucj as these over there. A place where they can go to like we have over here in America. I think it's a shame that they take their own lives while they are so young.
Kate, your ignorance is astounding.  Do you know the difference between "tribal belief" and "relgious belief"??  I am Muslim.  I was raised Catholic and it wasn't for me, so I became Muslim, on my own, in 2004.  I met my husband in 2005 and we've been married just over 4yrs now.  He is THE best thing that has ever happened to me (yes, he's Muslim), and every last one of my friends wishes they had a husband as good as he is.  Just because you read horror stories such as this, does not mean ALL Muslim men are this way.  You do realize that MANY Christian men abuse their wives also, right?  And Jews?  It's not just a "Muslim problem" my dear.

"Muslim" does not equate "denigration."  You might want to listen to some good old American rap or pop songs to hear some true denigration to women.  And yet we accept it as "art."  How pathetic is THAT?!
I fought too hard for the rights of every American to have other Americans feel they need to be abused by family or otherwise.  Bottom line, the United States is "the escape place" for those who want freedom.  Here you can do what you please, ok maybe not "everything you please," but you do have the right to say "NO" to abuse.  For children, adult and senior alike.  I understand it is hard to go against family, but at least here in the USA there are people standing on the wall of freedom to give all women/men the right to say "NO" I want something else.  
I am a Muslim man born in America.  This treatment of women is not acceptable in the religion of Islam.  To say "This is why no women should date or marry a Muslim man" shows that one does not know what this religion is about.  All muslim men do not treat their women in this way.  My heart and prayers go out these women.    
These cowardice men preach piety and speak of god daily, yet they abuse their women to the point of self-destruction.  This world would lack meaning behind the words 'kindness' 'caring' and 'comfort' were it not for women.

The true face of evil is so easily cloaked in the doctrine of religious and cultural norms.  Evil men both domestic and abroad forget that it was a woman who cared for them when they were born, loved them, fed them, bathed them, and clothed them.  

Whether hell exists or not, I don't know. If so, I can only hope that there is a special place reserved for these so-called men to go and feel the pain that they've inflicted on others a million fold. One can only hope that these men get there quickly to enjoy the eternity that they create for themselves.
Very sad.. This is why it is so important to liberate Afghanistan so women can be educated as well as men.
Again, religion and traditions are cause of all this evil. It has to go !
Most of the commentors here have grasped the basic inequities of a culture that would allow their women to be treated so harshly.  

However, some of you lump all muslims together in the same category.  This is so unfair.

I'm married to a muslim-born man and he is the best thing that ever happened to me.  He is kind and generous and has never layed a finger on me or my children.  He's just the opposite of what has been portrayed in this article.

Those of you who have not been exposed to the culture and think all Muslims are the same let me tell you that they are not!
Be sad, working in Metro Boston I met a family of Afgans living and working here in the states.  The girl children were required to give all their money earned to the father who dispensed it as he saw fit. The oldest was saving money to "pay" for her husband, "dowry", when her father decided his brother needed the money and simply took the money from her acct.  She was 24 yrs old.  Look at UN statistics, the vast majority of women in this world have no voice, no rights.  It is only by the blood that our soldiers have shed that we enjoy the illusion of rights in this country.
A little education in these cultures could go a long way, but then again, the lack of it is yet another form of oppression.

Obviously, pedophilia runs rampant and is condoned by the massess!  I cannot imagine what mindset it would take to hand over my 11 year-old child to someone for the purposes of making babies, getting beaten and generally being a slave!

I hope all these women live the best life possible and maybe, one day, rise up against their oppressors and take their crap no more!
I don't know which is more sad. This story or the recent gang rape of a 15 year old in public view that 20 people either joined in on, or did nothing. Our world is a sad one...
This is so sad. These girls are not allowed to be children. Even after all we complain about in America, we ahould be greatful we live here! I won't say anything about these types of 'traditions'.
Gotta love religion!
Alot of times it's actually the abusive husband or in-laws that set these girls on fire and the excuse given is that she miss took petrol for gasoline or better yet the oven/stove exploded. I say this because in pakistan this is a very common practice in economically disadvantaged families and often the girl is blamed for setting herself on fire.However I find it hard to believe that the best way for an already victimized individual to deal with abuse, is to set ones own self on fire.I  believe they are purposely burned by abusive families as various reports in Pakistan have shown.
Bring those women over here to the US, educate them and give them opportunities to blossom.  Then watch those stupid, evil excuses for men cry their eyes out because there are no more women for them to abuse.  Jerks.
I'm so disgusted with this story it saddens me to hear such atrocities happening to young children.  There is no way a child should be forced to marry a pedophiles.  These people are psychos.  The Middle Eastern people are completely crazy with their idiotic customs!
In the U.S., we're allowing, because of the so-called "freedom of religion", these barbarians into our society.  I feel very sorry for the young women that suffer so. Muslims will NEVER assimilate into Western societies, and everyone should already know it.  Stop being so d*mned politically correct and call it like it is.  Just last week, an Iraqi immigrant ran down (with a car)his own daughter because she was, in his words, "too Westernized".  The last I read, she was in very critical condition.  What kind of father would do that to his own child?  These people belong in the Stone Age.
God bless those who worked to get this hospital created.  Such sad circumstances these girls are in.    We really need some progressive leaders in that region of the world that can help guide the culture in a better direction.  Easier said then done I'm sure.
Actually, its ok to sit in the land of plenty and comment from the "high and mighty".  Teach an ignorant society, set them up financially, then see if they make the same mistakes.  Noone knows what or why these people actually marry their young daughters - I live in the region - I know... poverty.  To marry a young girl off to someone older is wrong but they have no choice as the older man supposedly will take care of her financially.  Also we should bare in mind that 55 or 100 or more is unacceptable figure of these women... We must consider how many are enjoying life with their husbands.
Why is anyone surprised?  Why?  Mohammed took a 5 year old girl, Aiysha, as his wife and according to her personal words in Islamic holy books, Mohammed, when he was in his 50s, consummated (i.e., engaged in vaginal sex), the "marriage" when Aiysha was 9 years old.  Can anyone imagine Jesus or Buddha doing this?  This is appalling, beneath contempt.  So it comes as absolutely NO surprise that such girls are being violated to this day. It is Islam, it is the "prophet" Mohammed, it is violent and cruel, abusive and disgusting.
As crazy as the "balloon boy" hoax was, it did show how in America we value everyone. No other country would have done what we did for a "missing child". We as women are equally fortuate to be in a land where we are legal potected so we do not have to resort to such horrible measures to escape a abusive situation.
Well, why does'nt the occupying force do something about? You guys sit in your commfy homes and preach to the world your values...and how bad it's( and it's very bad) but as long as america and americans are safe who gives a shxx. There are more suicides and violance and crime and abuse of women in America as much as the rest of world
In response to Kate...
This is an afghan cultural issue.It has nothing to do with Islam.  So stop branding muslim men as unmarriable.  In countries like Iran and Saudi Arabia divorce rate is high because women DO HAVE THE RIGHT to say no if they don't want to be in a marriage.  Afghan culture is tribal just like some tribe having a primitive culture in Africa or South America.  So please don't confuse what goes on in Afghanistan with Islam.  
Sorry to say...between the religious garb I see the Muslims wearing here in America, at the gym, pool, etc makes me SICK!! An old neighbor of mine was married to a Muslim man and she was Italian. She finally left him 4 years later...he made her turn muslim and be covered up. Her leaving him was the best thing she did!  All I have to say is that these people are of a very strange breed!!! Animals!!
kate you are ignorant and need to learn about the islamic faith it has nothing to do with abuse and there are great muslim men there is good and bad in every race and religion stop being ignorant. Some of the best men I have ever dealt with were muslim.
All I hear is America this and America that... I have to say this, if you all are sooo much worried about the state of problems - convince your government show us your democratic rights - to open the immigration gates for these young women to become a part of your society.  Whats happening to them is wrong.  What can you or anyone do about it?  Its ok to sit high and mighty and make judgments and comments but when it comes to actually getting involved you guys would rather pass the buck.
Nana is right!  Slavery is illegal and these women are tossed about in their world like property.  Shame on mothers and fathers who force marriage upon their children.  When I was 11, all I wanted to do was run around, ride my bike and play.  A 30+ man with a girl barely into puberty is sickening!!


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