In China, panicked parents fish for mates
Posted: Monday, April 20, 2009 2:54 PM
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Beijing, China
By NBC News Bo Gu
BEIJING – On Sunday afternoon thousands of people gathered near Beijing’s Bird’s Nest stadium for a mass blind date.
But the scene was not the usual one of young swinging singles mixing and mingling; rather, it was full of anxious parents looking for love for their still single adult children.
At the entrance a billboard with heart shaped signs gave attendees instructions: "If you are a parent of a son looking for a girlfriend, please wear a blue ribbon. If you are a parent of a daughter looking for a boyfriend, please wear a red ribbon. If you are a single, please wear a tag [saying] ‘I’m looking for you!’"
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| Bo Gu/ NBC News |
| Parents crowd into the matchmaking event in Beijing’s Olympic Park. |
Parents strolled around hunting for different colored ribbons, striking up conversations and asking for details such as "How old is your daughter?" or "How tall is your son?" They exchanged information, complete with pictures and resumes, in the hope of finding their son or daughter the perfect spouse.
Some parents did manage to bring their children along. Zhao Qi, a 31-year-old businessman who sells sea cucumbers – a product many Chinese believe to be extremely nutritious – came with his 74-year-old father.
"I’m not picky at all…age or appearance…they are not important. I just want to find someone who I can talk with, who I feel comfortable to live with," said Zhao.
Dressed in a gray suit and sporting a shy smile, he voiced his concerns about the dating scene. "Girls now are so choosy, they are very hard to please. I only have a diploma from a vocational school, so I think my low education is the reason they don’t appreciate me that much."
Compared to the son’s bashfulness, his father, Zhao Lianrun, seemed more anxious and aggressive, having bought him an expensive apartment near the Summer Palace, one of Beijing’s main tourist destinations. He’s ready for him to start a family.
"I didn’t have a son until I was 43 years old. Now I’m over 70, and I can’t wait to see a grandchild," he said. "People have introduced many girls to my son, but my wife is too picky! She wants the best for him, so we are here today to take a look."
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| Bo Gu/ NBC News |
| One mother takes a closer look at the profiles of available singles at the matchmaking event. |
Disproportionate numbers
As a result of the one-child policy, introduced in China in 1979, and a cultural predisposition for males that has led to forced abortions and female infanticide, there is a disproportionate number of eligible young men in the country.
In the year 2000 there were 117 boys for every 100 girls – and that ratio is believed to have grown. Worrying about your child’s marriage prospects has long been a major part of Chinese culture, but the striking statistics have compounded the issue.
There is a saying in China: "There are three ways to be unfilial; the worst is to not produce offspring." (The other two offenses are not listening to your parents and not making enough money to support them when they are old.)
The culture pressure to marry has led to an explosion of matchmaking businesses.
Zhang Ying, deputy general manager for a dating service called "I’m looking for you" (www.95195.com) and the organizer of Sunday’s event, said more than 10,000 people showed up at the venue over two days. While the event was free, her dating service currently has over 100,000 members in Beijing – each paying about $44 for lifetime service until they are married.
China’s National Population and Family Planning Commission estimates that by the year 2020 there will be 24 million more men than women, so dating service companies look set to continue being one of the countries’ growth industries.
And imagine 48 million desperate parents looking for love …
