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A heartbroken groom in Nangarhar

Posted: Wednesday, September 03, 2008 7:32 AM
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"I thought American forces were in Afghanistan for our security," said Attiqullah, his voice trembling. "I could never have imagined that they would bomb my wedding party. They killed my entire family. I will never forgive them."

I sat with Attiqullah, who gives his age as around 15, near the graves where his family members are buried. He described what happened the day of July 6, 2008 -- his wedding day -- when his bride, two of his brothers and a sister, along with 45 relatives, were killed by a U.S. air strike on the remote village of Oghaza, in Nangarhar Province in eastern Afghanistan.

Image: Attiqullah points out the bomb site
Attiqullah / NBC News
Attiqullah points out the bomb site

Attiqullah’s father had sent the entire family to the bride’s house the night before the wedding ceremony, as per Afghan custom. "The women were playing musical instruments and everyone was singing and dancing," Attiqullah said. "Then, according to our tradition, the entire groom’s family must escort the bride from her house to meet the groom. Early the next morning everyone set out on the way to my house, walking in a kind of procession through a mountain pass. And then, the unimaginable happened."

"It was 6:30 in the morning and there were 300 of my relatives and friends gathered at my house waiting for the bride to arrive," he said. Attiqullah, by now his eyes brimming with tears, was barely audible and wanted to appear strong in front of me. He was fighting hard not to lose control as he told his story so he avoided my eyes and drew circles in the mud as he answered my questions.

"I was watching the cooks cut the meats, prepare the potatoes, and wash the rice," he continued. "This was all for me and I felt so happy and proud. I was day-dreaming of welcoming my bride, wondering how she would feel as she entered my house and also how I would feel. I was counting the minutes to her arrival."

"Then there was a loud explosion on the top of the mountain," Attiqullah, crying, explained what happened.  "I saw balls of fire explode in the sky, the mountain seemed to be burning.  I ran from the house and started climbing. I ran faster and faster. I could hear the cries of children and women. And then the second explosion."

Image: Attiqullah prays in the graveyard
Attiqullah / NBC News
Attiqullah prays in the graveyard

 Attiqullah’s house, a simple structure of mud, rock and wood, is built along the side of the mountain. It took him a half hour to run up the mountain, his uncle running with him.

"And then there was a third explosion," he said.

"Oh my God!" Attiqullah was now sobbing uncontrollably. " I saw my bride and my family members; I saw the pieces of their bodies scattered all over the place."

The U.S. military is investigating the incident and said in a statement: "Any loss of innocent life is tragic."

"I assure you we do not target civilians and that our forces go to great lengths to avoid civilian casualties," U.S. military spokesman, 1st Lieutenant Nathan Perry said.

An investigation by the Afghan government concluded that 52 people died in that air attack - 45 women and children were killed. Afghan President Hamid Karzai ordered his government to pay $2,000 for each person killed and $1,000 to each injured person.

Attiqullah told me there was no offer of assistance to the family from coalition forces.  

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This was a failure by our military to do proper recon work, "Eyes on the objective' is best (called a leaders recon, only thing in this case there was lackluster leadership), they believed a 3rd party, who probaly held a grudge against this family and we did his killing for him. Happened all the time when I was in Iraq, a citizen would say they knew someone was a bad guy, we would arrest the suspect-who was not a bad guy-just in a beef with our informant- and then lock him up and he's probaly still locked up-happens all the time-our guys messed up and people were murdered.
These people are caught up in this lunacy- we think were right, they think their right-Americans killed the wrong people, period!
Sean- I see the irony- we wag our fingers in Russia's face, how can we take the moral highground in any circumstance, we haven fallen so far from grace and I hate to say it we have become our enemy-by the way over 100 thousand innocent Iraqi Civilians killed through Colateral damage by our troops (this is info published out of the Green Zone)
I work 6 months of the year in Holland and I have to tell you, the overwhelming fact is that Europeans now hate America, is it any wonder when our military does not do its job and the innocent pay so dearly and that we seem to think that people have to earn the right just to sit and talk at the table International Relations- how the hell do we think we are?
Who can defend these actions? There's no excuse,our military was wrong and people were murdered- A bride and her family were blown to bits.

We as Americans have no excuse we let BUSH lie and invade Iraq, albeit Afganistan makes more sense, and now nothing good will come of it- I am proud of the American people, just not proud of our government, hopefully McCain can clean things up.
I have been saying for the past 3 years, this is Afghanistan that put an end to British Colonialism and Russian Communism for ever. They had entered into this country under similar sort of pretexts as  the US.Let's try to understand the ground realities there.The more we stay there militarily, the more we will confront and kill civilians. US Army is not doing it on purpose, but this is how that country and its traditions are built by nature that make these unfortunate incidents unavoidable. Let's not be too cynical in presenting excuses for the killing of innocent civilians. This is not the way to uproot terrorism or to revenge 9/11. Everyone knows, at least, Afghans were never involved in 9/11, so why they should be killed. I think United States  still has plenty of time and opportunities to reconsider its policy in Afghanistan. This would be sad enough to provide Afghans  billions  of dollars in aid, while at the same time, making them our enemy for generations to come.
All these people who say move out if your not proud to be a American- Are they High? This is what America is about, if our govenment is wrong it must be called on the carpet, by the citzentry,were we when Bush lied about Iraq and invaded?, No the true Patriots stand up for good and despise evil imperilism- no worries though, I'm out of here, moving to Coast Rica, good bye to the once good country, we call the USA.
No wonder America has grown so weak, when we kill innocent civilians like this,its so very sad.
How could you blame this man if he sought his revenge? I hope he can forgive the American military for being so utterly stupid, as not to verify targets, no excuse the American War Machine failed.
To Sheri- I'm right behind you if Obama does not win,only I will be moving to beuatiful and peaceful Ireland, America must stop going down this evil path-its not truly who we are!!, we are the country with the big heart, not the big bombs killing the innocent (our military really messed up). We need to protect ourselves by being proactive, but we have gone way to far in letting Bush invade Iraq predicated on lies, suspend our liberties thru the PATRIOT ACT- which was a good idea but the BUSH regime leveraged it to spy on normal citizens, detain without charging someone with a crime/holding them indefinitly etc., makes me sick and I'm gone, my kids need to grow up in a just country.
People, if you're going to tell us this is a war and this is what happens in a war, then tell the military brass to shut up about trying to minimize casualties.  Either we care or we don't.  Which is it?
War is going to have casualties, and when terrorist "soldiers" hide in villages those casualties are going to include civilians.  I love the peace-loving Italy comment... where was the most blood-thirsty imperialist nation the world has ever known?  I forget.
casualties of war right?
we started these wars when we helped Isreal establish itself on stolen land. we struck first. then they have struck back at us and we strike them again.
then 9-11 happens, then we invade them completely.

have we ever thought about who really struck first or why these terrorists attack us?

for you ignorants out there ask yourself do you really think they attack us because we have certain freedoms in our country? just because of that?
i dont think so.
I wonder if people who say 'if you don't like America, leave it', realize how 'unamerican' that is.Freedom to express your opinions is one of the greatest things about the country. Love of country doesn't mean you have to be blind to it's faults.
I dont get it.. What proof is there that this was a US Strike? How does he know that the Taliban werent launching RPGs at the Party knowing that they are going to blame the US? That is what they do just to breed more hate.. Why do all of you just assume that it is the US who launched missiles at these people, just because they are easier to hate than their own people? The Taliban do this kind of stuff so that articles like this are written. What proof is there that this was a US attack? I didnt see anything in this article that there is any. All I see are assumptions and Anti-Americans making a bunch of hateful comments.. I like how the boy doesnt say he saw any planes yet the article starts that it was an air strike.. I know for sure that you would hear those planes flying over since they are loud loud!! I know I watch them fly over almost every day in groups of 2 and there is now way he would miss it especially if they were flying at full speed.. I love how everyone just assumes it is our fault and then says how unpatriotic they are..
Hey people, two wrongs do not make a right. If the only way to prove you are a patriotic american is to agree to murder "innocent" people then perhaps we should not be so proud. The day we can support a negative action such as murder, intentional or accidental, is the day we should just curl up in a ball and quit. After all, we get ticked because someone in the world said "they" (meaning americans) did something wrong so I am going to get or kill them, therefore, what makes us think its ok for us to feel that way also. There is enough technology out there that we and any other military has a near perfect shot at getting the intel right & if not then we have no right to powerful military.
The military does indeed take great care in avoiding civilian casualties. I suspect there is more to this story that is not revealed here. ON the other hand, I am troubled by the deaths of women and children. We need an in-depth investigation into this. The problem is exacerbated by the fact that terrorists frequently hide among women and children. My heart goes out to this young man. This is a terrible tragedy and we need to know how it happened. This also gives our enemies excellent propaganda material.
I've read these comments and I'm frightened... of the number of statements suggesting if (lets assume for arguments sake the incident is as described) you criticize the actions of our government you are un-american; not patriotic; and should even leave the country.

This is a democracy. The first amendment provides us freedom of speech, which implies freedom of thought. The quote, "The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants.", is attributed to Thomas Jefferson. Any government can breed a tyrant, as long as the population allows it.

I don't know whether this story is true, or by how much. What I do know is that disagreeing with the policies of my government, if I believe them wrong is not my right, it's my responsibility.

In the end, the story, if true, illustrates just how tenuous our hold on "the mission" in Afghanistan really is. If the story is false, it shows how easy it is to manipulate opinion about the righteousness of the American presence. I don't know how we win.

We kill Taliban fighters every day. They are sons, and husbands, and fathers as well, dying in their own country. Do we kill them all or just until they agree with us? The goatherd with a gun, walking his own land, the only land he's ever known or ever will know, is a target of the most powerful government the planet has ever known. Why? Because someone he's never met, someone who isn't even an Afghan, lives in a cave a few hundred miles away.

If we believe that by killing innocent people in a primitive country half way around the world will keep us safer, or that our cultural beliefs are automatically superior than theirs, then we've truly lost what it really means to be American.
And why is a 15 year old boy getting married anyway.  I wonder how old his fiancee was and if she even wanted the marriage?  Interesting
To the Afghanis and Pakistanis, here's a bizarre idea:  take care of your own country and stop asking us to clean up your problems.  If you stopped the taliban we wouldn't have to.  If you stopped Al Quaida, we wouldn't have to.  

To those who are bad mouthing our soldiers, there are still seats available on flights to Bagdad.  If you hate to be called an American and stand beside our troops proudly, you know where the door is.
I think it's time for the soldiers to come home now it's as if they are fighting a losing battle. Look how many women and children have been killed in that one attack, I think they are doing more harm than good.
I am proud to be an American! Each country has its faults and no matter where you go you can't escape it.
Its sad that this happened. Lots of incidents like this happen. The us isn't the only one doing it either. So Sheri Ann I hope you find what your looking for, unfortunately you can't run from what your wanting to get away from. And as for being disgraced in the worlds view it depends whose lenses your looking through. There are still millions of people trying to come here. That to me says people still love
America! We as Americans need to be stepping up our patriotism. It's a shame that we think so poorly of ourselves.
Keep saying you are disgraced. I am never disgraced to call my self american. Some of the things people do as americans disgrace themselves. But think of all the people we lost too. We had no right to take away that boy's family, but think of the people we had taken away. think of why we are there. think of 9/11. also think of what would happen if we left. instead of someone we dont even know dying, it could be our best friend. The terrorism rate in the U.S. would be really high if we come back. I'm proud to be american and i'm proud of the soldiers fighting for us.
I think US asa whole invades too many countries, for that, you get criticism, hate, etc. Deal with it people if you dont play in your own backyard.
i think that the americans have technology and devices to finding out what they were aiming for but they didn't.  i just wounder how they are able to sleep at night (the once who did the actuall boming.... )
To all the clowns on this blog that are saying this is just the ugly side of war "deal with it" and we feel bad but this is a casualty of war that we have to accept. I hope you clowns understand that the taliban and al qaida felt the same way on september 11, they felt "bad" for the 3000 deaths but they also knew this was the ugly side of war, they have to accept it. I am not sure who's side to take, the americans or al qaida, they both make "compelling" argument's of why they kill civilians. Remember also that the palestinian fighters that kill the israeli so called "civilians", justify their actions by saying that all israelis have to serve in the israeli military, so there are no civilians in Israel, and so they are all fair targets. I like that argument better than "this is the ugly side of war"..!!
There was a time when the Russians were the "EVIL EMPIRE". It is now the USA.
Shame on all of the American media.You put our Soldiers down.Why don't you stop trying to put a hundred pound weight around thier neck and let them do the job they need to do.Hey, do you honestly think they are over there because they enjoy it.Why don't you Librals stop apologizing to the world for our success(we have been in existance for over 200 years,been to the moon and back,have the best health care in the history of man,the inventions just go on forever.We did this by working hard.Let me see,what have the arabs & Afgans,Africans,Muslims,etc. etc.,by the way they have been around for thousands of years, what have they contributed for the better well being of the world.Get on your knees and repent to the Lord God,and thank him that you are an American and stop hating your country.If you don't like it ,move to Afganistan or Iraq,they will welcome you with a sharp blade.Sure there is freedom of the press(because of our Soldiers),but you people use it to bash your own country.In all of these muslim countries the american press would be the first to be beheaded if they were citizens.
In response to the comment "Ravi, Kabul, Afghan" You said that 90 people in the "Shindad of Herat Province" were killed in U.S Military attacks. Also U.S Military put the number at 25 Taliban dead and 5 Women and Children. You are proving my point. If your going to tell a story tell it all, and please stop leaving out parts that help your points of view. The article in the paper does state that 90 civilians were killed in a raid on a Clans compound. But what it also says is that the only witnessess, that gave statments, were the family memebers and people of the surrounding village. So I say, consider the source. Not to mention the article also states that when the bodies of the dead were checked, some were missing heads and hands and were also shot execution style. Being a former solider in the U.S Army. I dont remember it every being Army policy to cut off heads and hands of women and children. I believe thats the Taliban that do that my friend. Also dont the familys of the dead get payed $2,500 for every dead family memeber and $1,500 for everyone that in injuried. For a country were the average person makes $5 (U.S Dollars) a week. That seems to give alot of reasons for there family to lie. Also I do recall reading another article where a man in the same village was attacked by the Taliban and not even a week later. He also stated that his family was killed for no reason (They also lost their heads and hands). Then the Taliban proceeded to claim Nato did it. So perhaps you should consider the sources of either stories. Also please tell the entire story not just some.
It is just stunning that everyone seems just to take this man's word. Where is the fact checking, folks? How about we see some evidence before we accept this man (or anybody's) word for truth, okay?
All you people saying, "Just leave if you don't like it" give me a break.  I'm American, JUST LIKE YOU, and that's one of my RIGHTS is to not agree with what our Gov't is doing!  I'm not going anywhere, unless we get another Bush in office, then I just might.

Just imagine China or Iran decided to send massive amounts of troops here to overthrow Bush, set up bases all over the country, and "accidentally" killed many members of YOUR family they suspected to be "terrorists".  How would you feel then?  "Oh, it's just war, they're doing their JOB"  Yeah right.  You'd be grabbing your gun and going out to FIGHT AND KILL their soldiers, just like they are doing to ours.

Remember, it's a WAR, so our guys are going to die just like theirs are.  Stop crying about what "the enemy" is doing, since we'd be doing the SAME thing is someone attacked us.

We have highly sophisticated weapons, and we made this kind of mistake???  It's like Israel bombing an apartment building with ONLY women & children during the Lebanon war a few years ago....they said "We made a mistake" and CNN Europe took them to task about how they could make SUCH a mistake with the vision accuracy they have in their warplans (ie: you can see a LICENSE plate for God's sake).  Their repeated stance: We regret the loss of life.  Sorry.

Pathetic.
I completely agree with Mark, Katie and Quendie. Those of you who reiterate 9/11 as some sort of justification for this mess seriously disgrace the memories of those who perished. Honouring the deaths of 9/11 by killing civilians is just plain pathetic. The deaths of civilians in war is simply not excusable.

True that it happens all the time, in every war. When we as regular people ourselves start accepting them as collateral damage then it goes to show our faults.

If any of you doubters lost your family (as civilians and not soldiers) as a result of some kind of war with a foreign government, in your own backyard, would you turn around and say, "Oh, well. These things are bound to happen in war"?
Boyd,
Dont people over this article do the same? " Hey, its a war get use to it". Aren't you Hypocrat then, if the whole world should cry on 9/11 but yet if US hit someone, hey, its God who made that choice. C'mon people, have a little heart in you.

Afghanistan is an illegal war the Taliban was created and funded by Pakistan and Saudi Arabia both allies of Americans. Americans should be fighting Pakistan where the bulk of the Taliban come from. As far as Bin Laden, they still haven’t found him, have even admitted they aren’t looking for him. It is because Bin Laden is irrelevant, always has been, he was an excuse to invade Afghanistan to build pipelines for the profit of American companies. All this war, Iraq, Afghanistan, people dying, suffering, are the result of American greed and yet you have the gall to be indignant about 911? As if Afghans knew anything of 911. 911 terrorists were all Arabs. There is no Arab population in Afghanistan. Go fight your Arab enemies in Saudi Arabia where they originate and stop killing our people. This is the thanks you people give Afghans who sacrificed their lives to free you of Soviet tyranny? I still do not understand why Afghans would harbor Arab foreigners at the expense of their own nation. This is more lies and propaganda. Where is Bin Laden if he was in Afghanistan? What makes him so important that an entire nation would go to war to protect him?  

You are engaged in an imperialist war. The Afghan government receives funds from Americans to pay these people off, offering $2000 for a life where in the US 911 victims received millions and still they litigate.

You are the cowards that drop your bombs and shoot your missiles from afar then pretend you are the champions of freedom and democracy. Do you Americans feel your superior weapons make you civilized or righteous? I still cannot decipher why you with your missiles are brave while ill equipped men who would stand up to imperialist tyranny are "cowards”. You are the cowards who hide in your jets, hide behind your wealth and weaponry the justify your brutality with lies and propaganda.
Wow. and we Afghans expect US to help us rebuild our country.
Incidences like this definitely provide an impetus for more wars. The hatred that this boy carries can culminate into something more catastrophic with irreversible repurcussions.

Miscretants are not born so, they become like that when atrocities are committed towards them for no fault of theirs, just like this.

An innocent life is innocent, whether be it an American or an Afghan.

When the doers are not ashamed of what they have done, then they should also be able to face the consequences of their actions.

When the so-called literate Americans perform acts like this compared to their illiterate counterparts,
then there is no difference between the two of them.

Having done a deed lke this, they should also be ready to face the music, when the time comes.

THERE IS NO SMOKE WITHOUT FIRE!!!!
Who is accountable? Certainly Bush and Cheney will deny any responsibility.--- Huh? Were cheney or Bush in those planes? They both have far better things to do than target practice on a wedding party.
I know this is an election year and emotions naturally run high but, come on folks, Bush and Cheney can't possibly be responsible for every atrocity that is committed in this world. We should make whomever is responsible take responsibility. If it was a criminal act treat it that way. The Afghan and Iraqi people must do the same thing. Stop letting your fellows commit crimes in the name of Islam. Stop calling them Islamic terrorists and call them what they are, criminals.
To Helen from CA it was  Americans who created the Taliban with their Pakistani friends. The people of Afghanistan have been the victims of American meddling for 30+ years now from Soviet invasion to creation of Taliban to deployment of Arab foreigners and criminals. You have the rich nerve to act as if american imperialists are "cleaning up" Afghanistan. Get a clue. Please
Well, after reading all of this I am pretty sure a few of you are insane.

Your argument is someone came over here on 9/11 and killed many thousands of American civilians or not.

Since the war started over 86,000 civilians have been killed in Iraq alone.

I think the score is a little lopsided.
It is sad to hear about a very sad day in July.. When we bomb a place, we are given information from someone who is on the ground, Someone who the intel. dept. That person could have been working for the opposing side giving us the BAD intel, just to make us the U.S. look bad. We The Soldiers don't go in and kill for fun, at least my unit and I hope the majority of our soldiers feel the same way. Mistakes do happen, and we better start getting more intel and better intel before making a bombing run.. The opposing force loves this side of war, it makes us question ourselves, our country, and our soldiers.. We can't afford this to keep happening, and yes unfortunatly it is a time of war, and people are dying that don't need to die, a wife is gone and the family is gone, this is indeed very sad....I am a soldier in the U.S. Army, I love this country, and our people in it, Our GOVT. is not perfect neither am I, Lets do our best at what we do and drive on. care for the living, and morn our dead, even theirs, the young men and women who are the victims of this crisis lets let them know that we are deeply sorry for their loss, but we got to move on with our mission and get the terrorism out and a good Govt. in to take control, their own Govt.

God Bless Our SOLDIERS who are fighting!
Wow! Great blog with so many different point of veiws! Right or wrong? Justified or not justified...was it a media promotional material as to this report appears right after the Pakistan incident or an honest mistake? Who knows in this technologically advanced world where I can see the construction of my house in Pakistan sitting in the Bay Area live...and the US Army...one of the best in the world with THE BEST tech devices and such poor intelligence or is the intelligence taking advantage of them...?? Who knows...but someone definately becomes a fool!
HEY AMERICANS LET ME REMIND YOU SOMETHING, UR ARMY HAS CAUSED SO MANY UNCOUNTABLE AND AWFUL INCIDENTS LIKE THE ONE YOU ALL READ AND MANY OTHERS THAT LEFT MANY INNOCENT WOMEN AND CHILDREN LOST THEIR LIVES AND LEFT MANY OTHERS HOPELESS AND DISGUSTED ALL OVER THE WORLD.SOME OF YOU ARE HAPPY TO READ THIS UGLY INCIDENT BECAUSE ITS A REVENGE TO 9/11, WHILE SOME OF YOU ARE DENYING WHEATHER THE INCIDENT WAS CAUSED BY AMERICAN ARMY , WHILE STILL SOME OF YOU ARE BLAMING THE MUSLIM WORLD FOR CAUSING THIS. MY QUESTION IS, IS IT US, THE MUSLIMS WHO CREATE MORE OSAMAS OR  YOU THE AMERICANS. WHAT DO YOU THINK ATTIQULLAH WILL BE ADVICED BY EXTREMIST  FOR SURE HE WILL BE THE NEXT ONE TO COMMIT SUICIDE.

I just read the story. I am so sorry for your terrible loss. It's something you will never forget.War is terribly ugly. I wish for all nations that we could have peace. No more battles & no more war.It would be a wonderful thing just to get along with everyone.
What would you do if you were the 15 year old boy
that lost the entire family ?
You answer to your self.
i wish to comment on this article. i have never been to afghanistan nor in usa. unfortunately, matters like this do happen. i only wish that nangahar will soon find in his heart to forgive but i know that it will take some time.death in the family specially a love one is really sad.
God -- Why? You need to come and put an end to all the suffering. Evil is getting too big and it's time for it to end. I eagerly await your return.
It amazes me how freaking american says: "Any loss of innocent life is tragic."
WHATEVER...they killed innocent people and they do travel a lot in the mountains and does not makes em INSURGENTS..At least make sure that they are, then wipe em with one single bomb...Man, reading that story broke my heart and felt tigh breath.
Another thing Americans need to know that every single house in Afghanistan carry guns and opium...that does not make me drug lord or insurgents..that is in their culture.
Where im from, we carry M16 in every house....
Mike, u are def wrong brother..Imagine your entire family was having a wedding and the next thing u know, every1 is dead but u living???? how fair is that???? u tell me
and John, Rochester, NY u said IT ALL..THANK U.
AMERICAN ARE CAPABLE OF TELLING WHAT THEY ARE CARRYING FROM SPACE AND USA ARE WAY ADVANCED WT TECHNOLOGIE ..
Patti, Pennsylvania ,,,, in their culture, tehy get married at age 14 and 15 and ARRANGED...we cant blame them..its their culture and not ours.....


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