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A heartbroken groom in Nangarhar

Posted: Wednesday, September 03, 2008 7:32 AM
Filed Under:


"I thought American forces were in Afghanistan for our security," said Attiqullah, his voice trembling. "I could never have imagined that they would bomb my wedding party. They killed my entire family. I will never forgive them."

I sat with Attiqullah, who gives his age as around 15, near the graves where his family members are buried. He described what happened the day of July 6, 2008 -- his wedding day -- when his bride, two of his brothers and a sister, along with 45 relatives, were killed by a U.S. air strike on the remote village of Oghaza, in Nangarhar Province in eastern Afghanistan.

Image: Attiqullah points out the bomb site
Attiqullah / NBC News
Attiqullah points out the bomb site

Attiqullah’s father had sent the entire family to the bride’s house the night before the wedding ceremony, as per Afghan custom. "The women were playing musical instruments and everyone was singing and dancing," Attiqullah said. "Then, according to our tradition, the entire groom’s family must escort the bride from her house to meet the groom. Early the next morning everyone set out on the way to my house, walking in a kind of procession through a mountain pass. And then, the unimaginable happened."

"It was 6:30 in the morning and there were 300 of my relatives and friends gathered at my house waiting for the bride to arrive," he said. Attiqullah, by now his eyes brimming with tears, was barely audible and wanted to appear strong in front of me. He was fighting hard not to lose control as he told his story so he avoided my eyes and drew circles in the mud as he answered my questions.

"I was watching the cooks cut the meats, prepare the potatoes, and wash the rice," he continued. "This was all for me and I felt so happy and proud. I was day-dreaming of welcoming my bride, wondering how she would feel as she entered my house and also how I would feel. I was counting the minutes to her arrival."

"Then there was a loud explosion on the top of the mountain," Attiqullah, crying, explained what happened.  "I saw balls of fire explode in the sky, the mountain seemed to be burning.  I ran from the house and started climbing. I ran faster and faster. I could hear the cries of children and women. And then the second explosion."

Image: Attiqullah prays in the graveyard
Attiqullah / NBC News
Attiqullah prays in the graveyard

 Attiqullah’s house, a simple structure of mud, rock and wood, is built along the side of the mountain. It took him a half hour to run up the mountain, his uncle running with him.

"And then there was a third explosion," he said.

"Oh my God!" Attiqullah was now sobbing uncontrollably. " I saw my bride and my family members; I saw the pieces of their bodies scattered all over the place."

The U.S. military is investigating the incident and said in a statement: "Any loss of innocent life is tragic."

"I assure you we do not target civilians and that our forces go to great lengths to avoid civilian casualties," U.S. military spokesman, 1st Lieutenant Nathan Perry said.

An investigation by the Afghan government concluded that 52 people died in that air attack - 45 women and children were killed. Afghan President Hamid Karzai ordered his government to pay $2,000 for each person killed and $1,000 to each injured person.

Attiqullah told me there was no offer of assistance to the family from coalition forces.  

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Comments

How disgraceful! Sometimes it makes me sick to my stomach to call myself an American. These families were not terrorists, now this poor boy must live with this tragedy for the rest of his life. We seem to be doing more harm than good. This generation of leaders has turned the US and the "American Dream" into a mockery. What have they left for us to inherent? A weak economy, broken education system, and an unjust, illegal war. I hope our generation will rise to the occasion and rebuild America.
This is what happens when mountain peasants meet high-tech 21st century weaponry.  Our military has to be more vigilant to avoid tragedies like this from happening.  It is inexcusable, and cannot be allowed to happen.  Granted, a group of people in a procession like that might LOOK like a group of insurgents, but that is no excuse.  These people are goat herders and subsistence farmers, we cannot forget that.  They don't go on the web and post a blog telling the world what they are doing.  There is no way to forgive killing innocent people when there is little to be lost in taking the extra time and making sure that you have good intelligence about your target.  Whoever is responsible in the military for this occurring, at whatever level, needs to be punished for this to the full extent allowable by military law.
For those who read this remember and teach your children the truth that is decribed here.  War, violence and instruments of their actions are evil.  Many may claim that the motivation behind a war are just and therefore the war is just.  But make no mistake, even when your intentions are good if you are using an evil method of achieving your goals, evil and immoral things, like the shameful killing of these Afghans is inevitable. The cycle will never end.  We have created our own rightful enemies with these types of actions.  They should hate us.  I and all of you would hate them if they killed your family and bride.
no one's right or wrong.. bottom line is where you stand is wat side u take...

9-11 versus a wrong strike on one's whole family....

put yourself in that person's place.. would'nt you want to bomb the enemy now ?  who is opponent ? why ?
see all is nonesense but survival..  bottom line..
who's better who's not.. who doesnt want to ensure survival?
I wouldn't forgive them either! Absolutely pathetic!!!!! Shameful! Shameful. It's like life
has no meaning to the military. This isn't the first
story of the US killing innocent civilians. Shameful.
Makes me sick to my stomach!!!!!
its all too sad... war that is.. the innocent always pay the price.
This is just one side of the story and do you really, I mean really trust the media to remain unbiased??
This poor boy and his family had nothing to do with 9-11. It is time that we stop using it as an excuse to commit horrible and inexcusable acts on other peoples. Yes...9-11 was a horrible, tragic event, but that is what the terrorists want from us... a reaction and we are wholeheartedly giving it to them. Never forget, yes, but don't soil the dead's memory by killing other innocents in their name.
Often strikes like that are not really errors by the military, but caused by deliberate faulty intelligence from local sources in Afganiston. Such as a farmer who want land from a member of the now devistated family. Or another family who wanted their daughter to marry the boy.
This incident was tragic, to be sure, but do we have all the facts?  I bet we do not.  I bet this extremely short "article/blurb" is meant to play-up the emotional impact while not engendering logical dialogue.  Was there reported terrorist activity in the area, did Al-Qaeda make boasts that they'd infiltrated the countryside, did an informant lie on purpose?  I would never condone an attack on civilians but please remember that this "War on Terror" can't focus on military bases and industrial centers because there are none.  All we can do is take the best information available, check, re-check then double check for accuracy then act on it.  I wish the media would be a little more committed to responsible, thorough journalism--rather than just increasing its readership or ratings.
This is how 9/11 started. Violence begets violence, and the circle continues and escalates until somebody says it is enough.
Of course what happened was sad to Attiqullah, but Americans and the world seemed to forget about 911 and all the INNOCENT people who were killed. This is a war of beliefs, both sides thinking they are in the right. Can those who attacked us be trusted? Should we stop and hope they won't attack us again? Are YOU willing to promise the free world that 911 won't happen again? Probably not. This is a religious war, even if Americans don't want to believe it. It will never end, they will attack us again. We were living our own lifes in peace when they attacked us. Do we back off now, and wait until they kill more innocent people? Or do we make them a promise that if they ever attack ANY country out of hate, we will attack them until they don't want to kill again? I would love to trust them, but not with my loved ones. Since some of you do, then I think YOU should be willing to give your life and your families life to those who will end up being killed when they attack us again. We can never change their beliefs, just like they'll never change our beliefs in freedom.
This is such a shame.  Although it must be very hard for our troops being in an unfamiliar country and never knowing who is friend or who is foe, This is a tragedy that should not have happened. And also, yet another reason the U.S. will have more enemies. Can you imagine the hurt and pain this young man has?? I just hope he doesnt let his anger fuel his hatred for americans.
I never can understand how anyone who lives in this country could say that they are "ashamed" or  get "sick to their stomachs" to call themselves an American. It makes no sense to me. If you are so shamed, then why not leave? Have you ever given it any genuine thought? I may not agree with everything our leaders have done but despite this I know for certain I am still not ashamed to be an American. Why do people throw around those words so much?
No Mike, there is a wrong and a right.  How would you like it if your entire family were killed accidentally.  Our government has the capability to positively identify who their targets are when they are out in the open as this family was.  Satelite photography, reconisance planes, ground forces, etc.  Considering the circumstances, the intel available to make positive id was not utilized.
We shouldn't ask him for his forgiveness; we have no right to ask that of him.  I would NEVER FORGIVE ANYONE for doing to my family what we did to his.

I hope that this young man, Attiqullah, understands that I, (as an American), am truly sorry for this unforgivable incident brought on by our military.  I'm certain that, and pray he someday understands that destroying his family was never the intention of those in our military who performed it, but it did happen.

I also hope that he knows why we are there…

We are there because people in his country in the past, and even still today, harbor fanatical extremists whose sole mission is to destroy our American way of life.  Those extremists DID CHOOSE on September 11, 2001 to INTENTIONALLY destroy innocent American lives, lives where we are FREE to pursue the religion of OUR choosing!  Where we encourage women to learn and become successful human beings.  Where women have the right to drive, vote, be happy, and choose whom they will marry.  I don’t have a daughter but I believe the daughters of EVERY human being deserve those same rights.

What happened to Attiqullah’s family was not done on purpose, what was done in New York City on September 11th was indeed done on purpose.  It was done by madmen brainwashing others into believing their twisted religious lies for their own political reasons.  These madmen are still out there today and they are still causing the senseless suicidal deaths of faithful Muslims.  They are out there preying on the sons, (and in some cases daughters), of faithful Muslims, distorting their Muslim beliefs and somehow convincing them to kill themselves and other innocent people in the name of religion.  These wolves in sheep’s clothing are still being hidden by their naive and faithful flock either thru some twisted belief that they are doing this for the sake of their religion or through fear and intimidation.

To Attiqullah,
Please don't let the wolves prey on you, and don't let your hatred of us for what we did to your family turn you into someone who does evil to others.

Sincerely,
CJR
People!  Its a war. Its unfortunate that innocent people are killed.  But that is the ugly side of war. Deal with it!
It makes me sick that so many people are so quick to blame the military!  They are the last one to want a war or go to war, because they are the ones to have to fight and die for you!  They hear the call of their country and enlist, I want to hear the facts, not emotional dribble, what happened, how, what where their orders, was there extremists in the area?  Facts don't dicount them.  
So what do you tell this family....well this guy who stands alone without no family? His future is gone, the love of his life, brothers and sister are all killed!!! WHY???? Because they "THOUGHT" his family were insurgents. This is the justification you tell this guy "THEY THOUGHT?!!!!!!!!! We are spending billions and billions of dollars on a war killing innocent people instead of finding true terrorist. Offering this guy $2000 per family is an insult to humans beings. As if buying him off is supposed to help replace his family. This why the USA is in the position it is now! How will we ever recover????
Abhorrid.  But like it or not, this is a war.  People die in wars.  Agreeing with me or not makes absolutely no difference.  War feeds itself.  Ask yourself why exactly we are presently in that country to begin with, before you begin shrieking about how horrible our nation is.  And while your at it, consider this: no other nation on Earth would even bother taking as much time as we do to confirm who is an enemy or not.
Like any news article, there is a lot left out.  The military goes to great lengths to avoid such strikes.  I feel for the families and their loses.  But don't jump to believe it as truth without all of the facts.  Also, for each innocent life lost by coalition forces, the Taliban and insurgents kill dozens of women and children.  And when they do it, it is not an accident.  It is a violent and vicious war being waged against civilians and other ethnic groups.  For each such story there are many dozens of stories (rarely printed in the mainstream media) of US NGO's and military personnel making a difference in the lives of Afghani lives.  We are not hated by the average Afghani, not by a long shot.  The Taliban and the insurgent groups just wage a better media campaign.
First, let me say that what happened to this young man and his family is horrible and a terrible tragedy. But to assume that our military targeted these people is very unfair. Yes, this war has gone on way too long, with many lives lost on both sides, and I don't think it is a war that we will ever be able to say "we won". Our military men and women are there to pursue Bin Laden and the Taliban - the very people that attacked us in 1993 and 2001, and the very people that openly state they will continue to attack us. I think Iraq was a direction that took place for the wrong reasons and one we should bring our soldiers home from, but Afghanistan is the homefront for the terrorists that will continue to come after us until we stop them; and that is a conflict that is necessary for our country's safety.  
I am not minimizing the deaths of these people - any loss of innocent lives is a terrible waste, but unfortunately is part of war. Before you declare your shame in being an American or in our troops, take the time to see both sides, the good being done as well as the bad. I wish our soldiers were home and safe, but if not for them, we would be fearing for our lives from the terrorists who have us in their sights.
My prayers go to this young man and the family he has left, and also to our military and their families.
This is sad to say, but he is a casualty of war. The U.S can stop sugar coating things now and just come out and say they want to destroy small countries for the actions of a few. I almost got teary eyed after reading this story, he spoke so highly of his bride that he never met, so excited, and then like something out of a bad dream, everyone is gone. He saw things that no normal person see's first hand. Bodies of your ENTIRE family flying in pieces everywhere. I feel for this kid, and the U.S didn't offer any apologies, no condolances. Actions like this, with which this boy saw first hand, will NOT gain the peoples trust, and he will turn his back on the U.S, and he will tell others of this, and this WILL come back at us.
All we have is a horrible event described in vague detail!  Who did it?  We aren't told.  What types of planes were used?  Was anything more than three explosions witnessed? For all we know, the 'wedding procession' could have been nothing more than a cover to move large amounts of explosives to terrorist forces!  This is the kind of irresponsible and unprofessional journalism that inflames emotions and incites riots. It's not reporting, it's nothing more than sensationalism.
I am wondering how he knew the coalition forces involved were american, if he was not present.  It seems the Afghan government was so eager and quick to offer monetary relief.. maybe they were the ones who committed the act?
Thou shalt not murder.

Exodus 20:2–17 AND Deuteronomy 5:6–21!

This is how the Military Industrial Complex manufactures enemies.

These people will hate us for generations.
If your not proud to call yourself an American, see you later.  Just remember the many thousand, innocent civilians who died in 911.  Accidents happen, what happened here is horrible.  But if your unhappy or not proud, why don't you pack up and leave.
       I am horrified this tragic event took place,
Who is accountable? Certainly Bush and Cheney will deny any responsibility.
What a tragic way to end life for so many! The grief is overwhelming to even read about.
 This will haunt us for years to come, and it will affect Pakastani relations with the US, maybe permenantly.
This sounds like a Three Stooges stunt gone tragically wrong.
Why did this happen to innocent civilians?

 What a travesty for all concerned to have to live with.
don't you think that he may be the next suicide attacker, who may kill US soldiers and other civilians? and don't these soldiers have their families who will suffer the loss of their dears in a foreign country? why to invade a country and kill innocent people wearing the mask of noble people? just to be a superpower in the world?
America needs God. I will pray one day, we as Americans we willbe able to love people as Jesus Chirst does! THe Bilbe says don't kill. Specially the innocent lives.
I hope one day, we will repent and ask God for forgiveness.
Nice story, but it doesnt say wether or not his family is pro-taliban or not? Time and time again there are clans that support the Taliban and all the terrors they do. They when U.S Military or Coalition Forces finally teach them a lesson, they claim they are innocent victums and that they were killed for no reason. I remember when I was in Afghanistan and they would claim that we killed women and children after we killed Taliban fights. Its called propaganda, people spread it everyday. The Taliban spreads it everyday to try to get the U.S people to force the government to leave Afghan so they can take over once again. Perhaps someone should investigate how credable his story is and if anyone in his Clan (extended family) has ties to the Taliban?
i've been in afghan three dif years... so far the media has reported we hit wedding parties and nothing else... hey maybe america has something against marriage.  

Yes this hard to see and understand, however we are at war with and band of cowards that hide and run.
We use what we have to fight, how about our men and women that are killed by them, where is your outrage where is your support for them away from life fighting in a war that has no end becuase we worry about what the world thinks.
You hit us and killed over 5000 people that too were just going about life where is grief for them and your outrage HAVE WE FORGOT 9-11.
Its been the same story all over again in Afghanistan, the Western forces do not understand the situation here. They think every Afghan is a terrorist and that is the unfortunate reason. About 2 weeks ago 90 civilians were killed in Shindand of Herat province. Kabul itself witnessed civilian killings and protests. Most of those killed in these incidents were children and women. Some of them infants below 1 year old. God please explain, are these young are terrorists or do they perceive it as terrorists in the making - nipping in the bud may be.
The bottom line, Mike and Quendi, is either humanity makes an end of war or war makes an end of humanity. But we can't end the cycle of war and its "collateral damage" (like this tragedy) by ourselves. We need our Creator's help -- and we're going to get it despite ourselves, when we're on the very brink of cosmicide and are finally ready to admit how helpless we are.
The comments come so easy for a generation who thrives on the freedom we as service members provide.  The fact that you can open your mouth without being shot is what this generation gives you.  Mistakes happen.  Remember, you can always move away and live another country's dreams.
There are always 2 sides to a story.  Was one of the family members a high value Al Qaida target worth the collateral damage?  We will never know.  Rest assured our military does it's best to avoid killing civilians....on the other hand, terrorists have proven numerous times that they DO NOT CARE ABOUT CIVILIANS.  I'm sure if you were over there, you would change your mind.  The media does not cover everything.  They cover what they want to get ratings....I know you and the American public are not dumb....or are you?  I'm sure this headline caught your attention or else you wouldn't have added a comment to it.  Bottom line is there are alot of open questions to this story so you shouldn't rush to a decision.  I'm sure after time passes this story will be forgotten, the media will never follow up on it and come out with another headline about civilians getting killed.  So that way they get ratings.  It's called war; whether we like it or not.  To me it is better to kill them on their territory than others; becuase if it is ours than the great US of A has gotten invaded.  Let's see how you feel if they ever do that and kill some of your family members on our soil.  I'm guessing you'll be willing to forgive them.  Doubt it!!!!
when terrorists  thugs rebels etc hit other countries then run off and hide  under the guise of civillian populations .. there  will always be casualties... the responce back can  mean we make mistakes .. THEY ARE CALLED CASUALTIES OF WAR.. now did  any of those that were hit and maimed or killed   ever give up  those who  hit america  or  any other country they set their bombs off in ?..do they care when they kill americans or coalition forces? so.. yes i am sorry for the boys family but when war does break out the end result  is never with out incidences.. and when either side  decides not to abide by the rules of war or engagement and allow those terrosits to hide amongst them .. then i shall not sit here and feel guilt or shame by who has killed who .. did the countries that the terrorists hide in condemn  them and hand them over when they went on tv  slitting the throats or americans  or coalition forces? and if u feel ashamed to be american   remind me to tell  u that,  when u watch them  kill ur own familes!! the  west will always hesitate to use  major forces eg nukes  but our enemies will not  give  using them a second thought  THAT WILL BE THE WESTS UNDOING!!
What I find amazing is that we have only one side of this incident being told here. Are we sure this isn't the enemy trying to create sympathy and undermine our efforts to stop terrorism? I'm not for the killing of innocent people, but I'm not going to condemn my country until all the facts are presented. The shame I feel is for the US citizens that would speak out against their own country just after reading one blurb in the news.
So let me get this straight...
First we strike a supposed 'Terrorist' group in Pakistan by crossing its Sovereign Borders with our troops... (which in the Past is a perfectly viable Reason to Declare War)

And we eliminate a whole Family Escorting a Bride...


And yet we, (The Americans) sit here and assault Russia for attacking a Country that started the fight, and in the process shelled Russian Peace Keeper Bases.....

Does Anyone see Hypocrisy here? I'm just wondering.
But of course we do everything in the name of survival..... now how does aggravating a country that is armed with Nuclear weapons assist in our Survival? It doesn't... its stupidity.
This story and the NATO raid into Pakistan that killed 20 mostly women and children.  Is this how you make the world safe for 'Democracy' or 'Christianity' or whatever you are trying to make it safe for or from?  


The "War on Terror" has created more terrorists than it has eliminated.  These are Un-American wars, but very Christian.
No one's right or wrong, mike?  I clearly see who's right and wrong in an incident like this.  Survival has nothing to do with it--get real.  The military people who bombed this family were not doing it out of survival.  That's an insult to my intelligence.  They were wrong.  They didn't make sure they knew what they were aiming at.  Let's be honest for a moment: Americans think we can bomb our way out of anything.  Anytime someone gives us trouble, the first thing Americans say is, "Let's go bomb the f--k outta em!"  Another I hear is that we need to nuke the entire Middle East.  It's a cultural mindset that we believe works.  It works on a clear enemy but when you don't know who you're bombing it has quite the opposite effect.
Very sad, but having served in Afghanistan I can understand how these things happen.  As far as Afghanistan being an illegal war Katie, I think you need to rewind about 7 years and consider the circumstances behind our invasion and subsequent overthrow of the Taliban.  It's almost impossible to be 100% certain you won't injure or kill innocent civilians in a war, especially one where the enemy freely mixes and hides within the civilian population.  The enemy is very quick to take shelter in a house full of "innocent civilians" after firing on us, and that same enemy will exploit any civilian casualties we inflict from that house via the media and Afghan government.  So, I'm not saying that bombing a wedding party is justified, but at least consider the possibility that there were armed members of that wedding party making it appear to be a legitimate target.  I don't know, I wasn't there (this time), but then again, neither were you!
It discloses that the US forces are daredevil, the deaths of civilians in a country is not a easy thing, the war against terrorism is not in the wedding party, such an action will increase the number of their enemies, anyone who lost a member of his family will take his revenge.

Is any wonder people hate America, this is evil and could not be more wrong. America and its unbridled imperialism is what's wrong with the world. I think 9/11 was terrible, but I am a flag waving republican and even I am begining too see their point of view, although the Middle Eastern crowd is going about it the wrong way, Violence is not the way- Busch and Chenney have dusgraced this country in the world view, I am glad to be leaving the country for good and moving to peace loving and beautiful Italy-no longer proud to be American.
America has fallen from its greatness- when we treat these Afganistan citizens in this manner-we are wrong- this is what happens when America's leadship is immoral.
all i can say is, although it's hard to accept that a person in our lives is gone, but if it wasn't God's decision to take that person away from us i'm sure everybody would be happy without fearing that anything bad can happen
until you have been there and can understand that it is a war. its not some little walk through the park. what happens in a war?? civilians are killed along with soldiers. when the cowards we are fighting will take shelter among civilians it makes it a little hard. these people that are crying about loved ones being killed were prob the people u saw on tv celebrating on 911. if the so called "innocent civilians" want to let the taliban walk along side them in the streets of there villages maybe u should reconsider what u call civilians. i only have sympathy for the children of afghanistan, they are the ones that have to live with coward parents who won't face the taliban. that is why incidents like this happen in the first place. for the ones fighting there, US, NATO, AFGAN and other forces keep the faith and remember what u are fighting for
This is the reason why the "war on terror" will never succeed. America will leave more potential terrorists in the middle east than they kill or capture. Unless the economic situation is improved each of these young men will turn to extremism and terrorism because of their increased vulnerability. America is recruiting the next generation of terrorists.
Grow up poeple.. Bush and Cheney had 0.00 involvement in the bombing of anything.  Congress MUST approve ALL and ANY involvement we have in this.  You want to whine to someone, call up your state reps.
I for one will NOT let MISTAKES detract from the greater good that we are doing for the long term for their country.  I'm proud to say that I know and support our troups and all that they are doing.  To say any less is a insult to them.  So again, GROW UP and learn ALL the facts and basis for our involvement.


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