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Brits see themselves in parents' plight 

Posted: Friday, May 18, 2007 9:36 AM
Filed Under:

What is it about some news stories that capture a nation's attention and have the public clinging to its every twist and turn?

Such a story has captivated the British media and its audience: the disappearance of 4-year-old Madeleine McCann two weeks ago. 

Her parents Kate and Gerry McCann – both doctors in their late thirties – left Madeleine with her two-year-old twin siblings in bed in their holiday apartment in Portugal – a popular family-friendly destination for Britons – while they ate with friends just a hundred yards away.

Every half hour Gerry or Kate went back to check on them. They were sound asleep.

Then came the moment of horror that every parent in the world surely dreads: Madeleine was gone. No one knows where. No one knows how.

Did she wake and wander off? Or – as seems more likely – was she taken?

Media mayhem
And so, for two long weeks, TV newscasts, newspaper front pages, and web sites around the world have carried beguiling pictures of this pretty little girl.

Her parents refuse to come home until they find her. Every day Kate McCann goes to church to pray for Madeleine’s safe return and to seek what comfort she can find. You can see from her eyes that she is dying inside. God knows what the future holds for her and her family.

She and her husband talk to the media, every word edged with pain, as they try to keep the hopes for Madeleine safe return alive. It is haunting, disturbing, and desperate.

The public has embraced their cause. Some have traveled to Portugal to help with the search. Others sport yellow ribbons in support. And Madeleine's photo – downloaded as a "missing" poster – has been pinned up wherever volunteers think it may be of help, anywhere Madeleine may have been taken to.

Famous names – J.K. Rowling, author of the Harry Potter books, and American Idol’s Simon Cowell among them – have contributed to a $5 million reward for her safe return.

And a special web site  – www.findmadeleine.com  – has reportedly had 40 million hits in just a couple of days, including from concerned folk in the U.S.A.

So what is it about this story?
For sure, Madeleine is not the only child to go missing. She's not the only child who may have fallen victim to predators.

But somehow this story has crossed a line.

Is it simply a phenomenon created by the voracious appetite of Britain’s round-the-clock news media that is reporting every moment of this story, so hungry for detail that at times it seems to suck the very air from around it? I don't think so. There's more to it.

In the U.K. one of the most notorious stories involving children happened long before satellite TV and the internet.

VIDEO May 12: U.K. kidnap victim turns 4 years old while missing

Back in the 1960s a couple of sadistic lovers murdered five children in the North of England and buried their bodies on moorland. Though others may have claimed more victims, the Moors Murderers – as Ian Brady and Myra Hindley were known – became two of the most reviled killers in recent history. They still are.

What shocked then – and shocks us now – is how vulnerable children can be, despite the love and care of good parents. And how cruel some human beings are.

Sense of empathy
It has been a matter of impassioned debate that the McCanns – by every account adoring and devoted parents  – left their children sleeping soundly while they dined at a tapas bar nearby.

Their grief at not knowing what has happened to their daughter is, I am sure, magnified a million times by remorse and guilt.

But many parents have been tempted to do the same. I would. I did. My kids survived.

And so we are watching and sharing this family's agony unfold in front of our eyes.

Although we don't know them, we find ourselves wishing, in many cases praying, for Madeleine's safe return. Every passing day becomes more desperate.

And each of us who has children of our own knows the one chilling truth that makes us part of this story: there but for fortune go we.

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Comments

I shudder to ever consider myself in the position of the McCann's, the fear of not knowing where your child may be and if they are safe. I see no purpose in blaming the parents at this time - they have to agonize every moment their decision to leave their children while they dined. They do not need the added weight of other's judgements, just the prayers and whatever help anyone can give them to bring this little girl back to her family.
These parents should have been arrested for child negligence. How could you leave such young children alone, especially in a foreign environment? As a mother of three, I wouldn’t even leave my eldest who is 10 alone at home. Unfortunately, I hear of these stories all the time in America, but usually they come from low class, uneducated parents. As doctors, you would think they would have more common sense. I hope they find that beautiful little girl, and perhaps this is a strong lesson learned for the McCann’s and ALL PARENTS that ponder the thought of leaving their children alone. It wouldn’t surprise me if the McCann’s hadn’t done this before. This was a preventable mishap.
I feel really sorry that this has happened to this 4 yr. old girl. Irresponsible behavior of her parents is resonsible for this tragedy. Notonly they left this 4 yr. old girl unattended but also thier 2 yr. old twins unattended. I hope theyfind the 4 yr. old daughter. But the parents shoud be held responsible for their neglect and should be punished. They are doctos so thay could have afforded a baysitter.
A truly selfish decision on the part of 2 parents has resulted in the disappearance of their child. How disappointing that parents need to leave their children to go to dinner at a tapas bar, do not take your children if you can not afford to spend time with them and take care of them (specifically protect them) at all times. My children are 4 and 3 and I would not consider such a reckless and selfish decision because I respect the fact that accidents happen and more importantly...evil does exist in every dark corner of the world. As a parent my job is to eliminate the evil.
These parents have no excuse for leaving the kids alone. If you read the full article on BBC, the hotel they were staying at even provides babysitting and other childcare options but they chose not use them.
I do have a 9 and 8 years old girls, and a 3 years old boy and I never let them alone not even for a second, I even sleep on the couch next to their bedrooms, what were this people thinking, by leaving this toddlers alone while they have fun. don't they believe on a 'nanny' . I really hope she is safe but iwould love to see Child Protective Services after this couple for it it's clear for endengerment of a child.
IT IS MY OPINION THAT CHILDREN AS YOUNG AS 4 SHOULD NOT BE LEFT ALONE NOT EVEN FOR A FEW MINUTES NON THE LESS O GO FOR DINNER ..... I HOPE LITTLE MADELEINE IS FOUND SAFE AND WILL BE RETURND TO HER FAMILY .... AND I ALSO HOPE FOR THE SAKE OF THE 2 OTHER CHILDREN MOM AND DAD WILL THINK BEFORE LEAVING THEM ALONE ... COM HOM SAKE LITTLE ONE
These kind of stories make me sick, and sad. Maybe they should not have left the kids alone for a little bit of time. But if a pervert is responsible for this he or she needs to be down like a rabid dog. These stories are so common now adays. We as a society need to protect our kids more, and worry less about the perverts. It just so heart breaking. I pray they find her safe and sound.
WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO COMMON SENSE? IS IT A THING OF THE PAST? I CAN'T IMAGINE WHY 2 WELL EDUCATED PEOPLE WOULD LEAVE THEIR BABIES UNATTENDED! I FEEL BADLEY FOR LITTLE MADDIE NOT BEING PROTECTED BY HER PARENTS. I'M PRAYING FOR HER...
If people haven't gotten it, they will get now or never will. IN TODAYS WORLD, PARENTS, NO MATTER WHO YOU ARE, ECONOMIC BACKGROUND, OR WHERE YOU ARE, YOU CANNOT LEAVE YOUR CHILDREN UNATTENDED. It is INSANE in my mind to leave children behind while parents wine and dine. IT IS A HARD LESSON TO BE LEARNED THIS WAY. I feel bad for the child. God only knows who she is with or where she is.
Please Please let this be a lesson learned, Never ever leave your kids unattended it takes only seconds to snatch a child, My heart does go out to you and others that have had their child kidnapped, i hope that Madeleine is returned home safe and sound, My prayers are with you
I would be utterly broken down with despair...I pray for her safe return....As do millions of parents across the globe...I thinkm it is important to support Local or National Orginizations that raise awareness , and help promote the safe return of Missing Children..NCMEC.National Center for Missing and Exploited Children......
My prayers are with both parents for that precious childs safe return. Life is too short to be placing blame for something as parents they will never let happen again-let's just move on and unite in wordly prayers, together, with God's blessings that child can be back with her loving parents.
Isn't it wonderful that everyone can pass judgment on this family? It is so refreshing to know that no one has made a mistake in life that has turned into a major catastrophe! How about showing compassion for EVERYONE involved regardless of the circumstances. It was just as possible if someone had been watching the kids for this to have happened. THIS is what is wrong with the world. The fact that everyone has such an enlightened opinion about everything, instead of respecting EVERYONE and looking out for each other. It makes me sick and by the way, I can say what I want, I'm a cancer survivor and mother of 3, one of which is autistic and then some and since every idiot with a computer thinks they know everything, I figure a little bit of common sense might not hurt!
Whoa, hold on here a minute!! Get down off your damn soap boxes and have some compassion. If those of you that are railing on the parents about leaving the children alone, were in the same posistion, most of you would be doing the ole Whoa Is me routine and weeping and wailing, wanting all the empathy and compassion that would help to bring the child back. Yes, they probably should not have left the children, Yes they are racked with guilt, But I think you miss the picture here. Come on give up a prayer for little Madeline, and pray that you your self will never have to be judged as harshly as you are judging her parents.
while i pray for this child's safe return, i cannot fathom how parents could walk away from such small children in the first place. i have not stayed at a hotel recently and never overseas, however the hotels i have been to all offered a babysitting service at a nominal charge. some offered it as a part of the "family - fun package" since the hotel was in a family-friendly location. to go off, even just a short distance, and leave tiny children alone, unattended, and unprotected is, to my mind, criminal. here in the states, these parents, their worry and grief not withstanding, would be charged with child neglect at the very least. as i said, i pray for this little one's return safely, soundly; but i find it hard to generate sympathy for neglectful parents.
Lets us not spend a single moment throwing rocks ... The McCann's need all of our help and prayers and that is all the world should do.
I agree with Amy Lee in Boston. It is COMPLETELY the parents' fault for leaving those children unattended. God forbid if something happens to this little girl, they should face some kind of criminal charges. I don't feel sorry for them, I feel sorry for Madeline. They should rot in hell.
It seems to me that many people are judging these parents based on what we have experienced here in the US. Perhaps things are different in Europe, and these situations are not as common. I understand the frustration that people feel about these parents leaving their children alone, but if their society is more like ours thirty years ago than ours now, we should remember that we also left our children unattended in their rooms, or our yards, where we would fear to do so now. Regardless of any judgement placed on the parents, I sincerely hope that the child makes it through this situation alive, and with as little emotional trauma as is possible.
My wife and i work hectic schedules are under stress as the good doctors are/were. When our children were small and we were in our 30s as they are, we stayed home with our children to protect them from just such a thing happening. What the good doctors did is against the law for good reason. Leaving infant children alone and unattended is a depraved act of indifference and should be punished to the full extent of the law. Hope the people of the world realize the only victim here is the one who is missing, the parents are criminals.
I have something to say to Amy lee Boston MA who wrote in. Have you no heart? Why would you post something so heartless about someone? For you to state that this is what they deserve infuriates me and it makes you a monster. To the family of this little girl, I pray that you may have stregnth & courage through this ordeal. I pray that there is a positive outcome and that she is returned safely home. My prayers are with you.
I feel so sorry for the entire situation. That poor little girl. We can only pray that she is alive and well, For her parents also, this is a living nightmare that all parents fear. I live in the Caribbean and while we don't have such things really going on we are still informed via the internet, cable tv. etc. and I tell you that parents here would not leave such young children unattaneded. That was courting danger.But it is really crying over spilt milk berating the parents now. It was a colossal error of judgement and their guilt must be debilitating. We can only pray now for Madelaine's safe return and for strength for her parents and family.
this kind of tragedy can only be compounded by others statements of how this couple should be perfct parents like themselves the fact of the matter is no matter how much we try to be perfect we are not and mistakes can be made out of even the strongest of love for our children as i am sure this is the case but if the finger of blame should be pointed it should be at the break down of hotel security that obviousley happened at this hotel people put their safety in the hands of the hotel and it is up to the hotel to insure their guest safety
Being the mother of 4- my heart bleeds for these parents. Did they make a mistake leaving the children asleep while they had dinner???? I don't know- it's not for me to judge them as I have made numerous mistakes myself over the years because there is not a parent out there that is perfect. For all commenting on this board that they have no pity for these parents- I pray that when your children are no longer under your perfect parental care- that some tragedy does not befall them because we can not ALWAYS protect our children- alot of prayer and God's protection go along with "common sense". This family will continue to be in my prayers for Madeline's safe return WITHOUT judgement upon the parents.
Amy from Boston says they got what they deserve for leaving their children alone. Please tell me how can you say such a cruel thing, if the child is molested or murdered is that what they deserve. Before you write something thing about what you are saying. You are the moron not them. Yes I agree they made bad judgement in leaving them alone but no family no matter what deserves this.....
The simple fact that the parents were in and out of the hotel room every 30 min. was a sure tip-off to anyone that there were children unattended in the room! Why else would parents go in and out every 30 min. or so if not to check on their unattended children in the room, certainly not to check on a sitter, or anything else left behind a "LOCKED" door? Obviously someone (someone interested in little children) saw them doing this and realized an opportunity to seize a child! Although my heart aches for the parents and especially for the child, I can't help thinking how wrong these parents were in what they did, leaving 3 little children alone in a hotel room, and then tipping off any criminal to the fact that something of value was left in that room that needed to be checked on every 30 min. or so. My prayers are with everyone involved, but I hope everyone learns a lesson from this - NEVER LEAVE CHILDREN ALONE, UNATTENDED!!!! even if you think your doing the right thing by checking on them - criminals watch for this sort of behavior and then act upon it!! LESSON LEARNED I hope!!!
I had no idea there were so many perfect parents around. The more self-righteous you are the more I'm convinced that you've done something just like this and you were so lucky that nothing hasppened that you want to spew your venom on every message board you can find. Do I advocate leaving children alone? No. They made a mistake. How many of you have left the child in the car "for just a second?" How many of you run out to the mailbox or stand in the backyard talking to the neighbor while the little one is napping? Think a house fire couldn't start in those ten seconds? Where do you draw the line? Unless you are with your child 24/7 - and that means ALL THE TIME then shut up and do something constructive with your time. You all sicken me.
I know it is hard for Americans to accept that Europians would leave young sleeping children in the hotel roo, but I lived for years in Europe and can tell you there is a community feeling of others watching out for your children. I do not mean one can be irresponsible, but I feel those parents took every reasonable precaution and probably checked on the children to make sure they were Ok and NEVER thought one could go missing.
I TOTALLY HOLD THE PARENTS RESPONSIBLE I WOULD NEVER LEAVE A SMALL CHILD ALONE ESPECIALLY IN A FOREIGN COUNTRY WHAT WERE THEY THINKING? MY CHILDREN ARE MY WORLD I WOULDNT WANT TO BE WITHOUT THEM .IF THEY COULDNT BE WITH THEM AT ALL TIMES THEY SHOULDNT HAVE BROUGHT THEM ALONG I PRAY FOR THIS CHILD!
I am sure they are loving, dotoing parents, but unforunately you can't be too careful. Children wake up, they get out of bed,they explore. What if there were a fire??? There are too many what if's, you don't leave children as young as this along, even if you are checking on them. This is inexcusable and a very expensive lesson to learn on.
Why do the children of the world always suffer for the adult actions. The parents are Doctors they should have never left there children alone. Only god can judge them and I am sure that some day they will have to face up to what they did. My prayers are with the parents and the children. How hard it must be to have to live with oneself and to feel responsible for what has happened to your own child.
I hope this little girl will be found safe,and soon...I am reluctant to say returned to her parents. For 2 doctors in their 30s, they were incredibly stupid to leave these kids unattended. What, they couldn't afford a sitter, for pete's sake?! Give me a break. Then there is the wonder, could one of them have done something to her while they supposedly went to check on the kids? I don't know them so can't say,but hope someone has asked that. Why would someone take just her, not the twins too, you know? The kids need to be in protective custody until the parents get their shit together and decide to properly parent them...and that would include admitting this was their own negligence that led to her going missing. I would also wonder what sort of doctors they are...and if they should continue in that field or not. But bottom line is, please help find this child and assure her safety!!!
You Americans all sound so perfect!!!!!
What difference does it really make at this point make if the parents made a mistake or not. A CHILD IS MISSING!!! A PRECIOUS CHILD HAS BEEN TAKEN FROM HER PARENTS AND ALL THESE @*%&##(*@ CARE TO POST IS JUDGEMENTAL, ACUSATORY COMMENTS. I hope I speak for the majority of the readers when I say that our thoughts and prayers are with the family and Madeleine. No mistakes were made and the only blame being cast should be toward the sick, sleeze that committed this horrendous act.
GEEZ! How heartbreakingly sad.My heart goes out to the children here... the parents well, chalk it up to ignorance and carelessness. Perhaps they are illiterate and don't read the newspapers or they are blind and deaf and don't watch the news...I will pray for the childrens safety and for the parents to become educated about how to care for young children.
How can the four year old be missing and not the two year old twins? Something is very fishy to me. The parents should be held accountable for leaving children alone!
I am a mother and a grandmother of 5 grand children, my heart and tears goes out to the parents, but in these times and days you DO NOT EVER leave a child alone at any time or day, this world is not safe, it is very sad to say. I will light a candle for little Madeleine and say a prayer for her return.
My prayers are with the McCann family and little Madeline. It is always very disappointing to me that strangers would take the time to post ignorant and heartless judgements toward a family that is suffering an unthinkable horror. What's the point except to show the world just how hateful and hurtful you can be? Despite any of the circumstances, these parents did not cause this crime. Why not support them instead of throwing your judgements and criticism around?
The parents leaving the children in the hotel room, unlocked, was not the smartest thing to do. Who, though, has not left a sleeping child for a couple of minutes to clean up the house, rake some leaves or even speak with a neighbor in the yard? Is it the distance that makes the difference? People have houses/rooms broken into all the time. The truth is that you cannot hover over your children 24/7. Although I don't agree that they should have been so far away in a strange country and left the door unlocked, the truth is that if someone wanted that dear little girl bad enough they would have stopped at nothing to find any opportunity to take her. I hope with all my heart they find her safe and unharmed.
Thank you, thank you for questioning the actions of the parents in this case. I was wondering, while hearing all news accounts, if anyone even CARED that the parents' actions were negligent. I have twin four-year-olds and no way in this world would I leave them alone, even in my own home, even if asleep. They can open doors and get into any kind of a mess. I'm sure these parents are feeling guilt. It is sad that one moment of neglect may have cost them their child. My question is: How many other times were these precious children left alone?
I was raised an" Air Force Brat ",we lived on the Air Base,I remember my parents leaving me alone after putting me in bed for the night. I was 8 years old. They would come home and check up on me,I would wake up from time to time,I remember feeling very alone. I am now 51 years old, and I remember this.It was a safer time back then , but I never Left my children alone when they were young. With the times the way they are,I do not understand why the parents were so naive,but the hell they are going thru has to be a slow death. I just hope evey parent learns from this. NEVER,NEVER, leave your babies alone!!!
The parents leaving these children unattended anywhere is ludicrous!!!I pray she is found safe. The parents should be charged with child abuse.
I have a 7-year-old boy and I would NEVER EVEN CONSIDER leaving him alone in a hotel room by himself for any amount of time. I cannot fathom what the parents are going through at this point but being a good parent means making good choices for your children. Some poor choices have very bad consequences for both the child and the parents. This poor missing child is, unfortunately, a consequence made from a poor choice.
Maybe I am one of those paranoid moms, but I guess living in the States at some point in my life will do that to a backwoods girl like me. I have two children, 13 and 14 years old and even at their ages I would never leave them alone in the house. Infact, they are not allowed to cross the road on their own. The point is, I can't imagine how the McCanns left their children unattended and at such an ungodly hour to boot! I really feel for them and constantly pray for the safe return of their daughter. This is a very hard way to learn that the world is awash with evil people. To think that not one person has reported a sighting-the girl couldn't just have disappeared into thin air!
For those of you passing judgement, I'm so happy you are perfect. I have made many mistakes as a parent, fortunately for me, they have not had these horrible consequences. They made a terrible mistake, but it's done, and time for support rather than criticism. Please use your energy for something positive.
God Bless the children. God protect Madeline and bring her home safe and unharmed. God forgive her parents for their moment of carelessness and bring their daughter back to them right away. My prayers are constant for this family.
So what if they were average Joe Taxpayers rather than "elite" doctors? Children end up missing on a regular basis, all over the world, but I guess since dumb and dumber are doctors, it's a worldwide horror story. All that time and money invested in an education, but you're too stupid to stay in for the night with your CHILDREN. Must be that wine and shrimp and avacado "dinner" party was more important than the safety of their own offspring. Apparently this isn't the first time these morons have done this because it's a vacation spot for the hob nob retards of the UK. Laaaaaah de dah, and now you're in tears because you can't put your uppity crap aside and be a PARENT. Get a life r-tards, you neglect your kids, they end up missing, can't learn that one with your nose in the air at med school. Morons.
I too hold the parents at fault. Maybe in the US we are more inclined to feel parents are responsible for their lack of responsible parenting. I would say they were arrogant. They certainly had the money to hire a babysitter. They are lucky the twins were not also taken. It is never okay to drop your guard in today's world.
We just returned from Jamaica with our girls 2 and 9. We stayed at an all inclusive resort with several restaurants, a kids camp, babysitting service etc. Even though each restaurant was near our suite - we not ONCE, not ONCE, LEFT them out of our site. There were others however, who left their kids with the camp, or sitters and left the compound. God forbid a sunami or other disaster occur and they kids were left with "workers" in a strange country. I cringe! I don't know what culture has to do with common sense. I feel for them, but they messed this one up. I am horrified to think that their selfishness in wanting to spend time with each other may have cost them the life of their baby! If it was so important to have time alone, they should have at least hired someone from the resort (STILL NOT AN OPTION I WOULD TAKE) to babysit their kids. Still better, bring they should have brought their sitter/nanny/babysitter on vacation with them. We are Black Americans (decendants of slaves). Although there are many negative things said about us, we would never, ever, put selfishness before the safety and sake of our children.
My thoughts are with that family. I can only pray that there is a happy ending to this sad story. The world could use that happy ending now more than ever; at a time when there is too much war, too much hatred, and too much sadness. As children are our future, we need to do our utmost to protect them from predators and keep them safe. Madeline is an angel ... please see that she is returned safely to her parents.


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