ABOUT WORLD BLOG

NBC News World Blog aims to provide a dynamic look at world events and trends -- both big and small -- from NBC News correspondents, producers, and bureaus around the world. Online entries -- from text to video -- will explore news events and how they are shaping our world.

Regular contributors include NBC News correspondents, producers and staff based in bureaus across the world and on assignment.

Click here to read more about the journalists behind NBC News World Blog.



Iraq, a nation of widows

Posted: Thursday, March 29, 2007 1:58 PM
Filed Under:

Social constraints in Iraq prevent a lot of women from earning money – the men put food on the table by going out to work while women take care of children and the home. But by leaving the house, men are often more exposed to the dangers of car bombs, kidnappings and assassinations. As a result, most of the victims of violence in Iraq are men – leaving the women to dress in black and mourn them.

According to Iraqi tradition, women must dress in black for at least one year of mourning after the loss of a husband, father, mother, or any other family member or relative.

A source in the Iraqi Ministry of Women’s Affairs told me recently that because of the various wars since 1980 – the Iran-Iraq war that lasted from 1980 to 1988, the first Gulf War in 1990, and the U.S. invasion in 2003 and its aftermath – that there are approximately three million Iraqi widows and the numbers are increasing.

Smile dissipates quickly
That stunning statistic may explain why I was so astonished when I recently visited the Iraqi Tourism Board to see some old friends and contacts.

I went in smiling because I hadn’t been there for while and was excited to see my old friends, but the place had an eerie feel to it. It looked darker – and it was. In every room, when I popped in my head to say hello, there were women dressed in black from head to toe.

As a cup of coffee was placed in front of me, my curiosity finally got the better of me. I asked if a colleague had died or something? A woman covered in black responded, "They killed my husband and burned my home. So we moved to a Sunni neighborhood; stress and grief killed my mother a week later."

I turned my head to the woman next to her and she said, "They killed my brother in front of his wife and children…just because he is Shiite living in a Sunni neighborhood."

The smile I had on my face when I arrived was long gone. I actually felt ashamed that I had a smile on my face to start with. So, I chugged down my coffee and quickly left.

* The names of local journalists are not being used to protect their identity.

MAIN PAGE

Email this EMAIL THIS

Comments

I never cease to be amazed at people so quick to condemn the very heart of what our nation stands for. Freedom. When this conflict is over, the Irqui peoople will be free. But they must also be willing to pay for that freedom, even the highest price. Many of them already have. Our nation and a VERY few select other nations offered their young men and women to fight for the rights of a people that were so oppressed they could not stand up for themselves. That is an honorable thing. No one wants peace more than a soldier. But never forget that those people who are evil, who detonate the explosives that kill and maim innocents, that execute others because they are of a different faith, that connive and plot (succesfully I might add) to divide and weaken the will of America are a minority. But they are powerful because they are willing to shed whatever blood is neccesary to accomplish their goals. Keep in mind, no, NEVER forget that they attacked us without provacation on september 11th. I say without provacation because they randomly chose over 2,000 innocent non combatants to murder so they might make there hatred for all that is good and free known to the world. There is only one way to stop beasts like this from becoming the tyrants they dream of being and that is to fight them. In the words of John Stuart Mills, "War is an ugly thing, but not the ugliest of things. The decayed and degraded state of moral and patriotic feeling which thinks that nothing is worth war is much worse. The person who has nothing for which he is willing to fight, nothing which is more important than his own personal safety, is a miserable creature and has no chance of being free unless made and kept so by the exertions of better men than himself." I detest the insurgents and what they are doing, not only to our soldiers, but to the Iraqui people themselves. Had they the same attitude that many of the writers above have then this would have ended after the fall of Hussein. Instead, they used the opportunity to bring hell on earth to an already beaten down population. Stop blaming our government for standing up where many of you cannot or will not. I almost have more respect for the insurgents than for many of those commenting here because they at least are willing to stand for what they believe in and die if called upon. Rest assured though, if we do pull out, if we cave in to these animals, they will come here knowing that this once great nation has lost it's will. They will bring their Jihad here and it will be our malls, our police stations and schools that will be destroyed, our children maimed and killed. These people know no mercy, the face of evil knows no mercy. And they will show none to us when they come here. In an interview with the press, Bin Ladin said "we love death the way you americans love life and that is why you will lose" (this is often repeated in various forms by otheer insurgent leaders. You stand for something or you stand for nothing. Our nation, wether you agree with it or not, has decided to stand against evil. But as Matt (above) infers., if you cut off funds, if you stop now it is our men and women fighting abroad that will ultimately pay the price. No one loves war, no sane person anyway, but no one loves oppression either. You can't have it both ways. Those that oppress will ALWAYS oppress. Those that will not be shackled will always give their lives for freedom. And as Mills stated, those not willing to fight for that freedom should not have it.
whats the truth maybe not all muslims are fanatics , the media has taught the world to say "it's only the radicals" or "the fanatics". what makes them radicals is when the commit the violent act. the ones that only think about it and support the actions of the "radicals" are the good muslims. we did not create this! they preach hate and death from father to son it's in every part of thier culture. if we are not there , they turn on each other. they are a waiste of our time and men to try and help them. fight the war , win the war and leave. no occupation , no rebuilding. let them clean up after thier sacred jihad enough times and maybe they will not be so supportive.
Once again complaints and bitching but no solutions. Withdrawl is only feasable if there is a plan to secure the peace. But just leaving doesn't really solve anything. Then the USA will have made two bad policy errors. 1. Invading on a lie.(Bush and Republicans) 2. Leaving with no plan to win a peaceful solution. Total war between all Muslims (Hillary and Democrats) Good thing we only have 2 real parties. Just think of the damage the Reform party could inflict.
Is this now end of the war? Is our President not satistified of the outcome of the said aggresion to Iraq?Where is our concience as human to see bloodshed everyday of innocent people because of misinformation that iraq has the power to attack America? MISCONCEPTION? RIGH OR NO but death is part of the daily life in iraq.Windows and orphans will be there waiting to grief and cry.are we so greedy for oil by allowing this killing activities? Do we have the word concience in the mind of the politician? Or the just wnat to profit from the war per se?How do we want this kind of life that both sides will suffer the agony of a wrong unjustified decision to go to war with iraq? Lifve is precious as just like the family ties, muslim, christian or whatever his religion is.Most of dignity of oneself. be honest to people that one commited mistake. adding death everyday is not the solution to cover such mistake.Hopefully this effect in the war iraq can be personally enjoyed by the person who made such decision to declare war to Iraq. That is my last wish for him .
To paraphrase Sarah Jackson this is a complex problem and I'm sure I don't have all the information to make the very best decisions. However the one overridding truth is that the Iraqi people that are being so devastated by this war are just like you and me. Everyday, plain people who just want to love their families and raise their children and be happy. The bottomline for me is I can't imagine trying to live my life in the middle of the equavalent of 9/11 every day. We need to let go of the ideologies of right and wrong and find a peaceful way to coexist in the world. We need to stop this unjust war, we need to be prepared to rebuild what "shock and awe" and five years of war has done to these people. I believe in our right to protect ourselves but I do not believe in preemptive war.
I wonder if in 1865 us Americans were not asking ourselves the same question. 1 million dead and for what, freedom (if you can call it that) for slaves. Heck, it only took 55 more years to foster the belief that women should have the right to vote. I guess the people in Iraq should be given a 5 year time table to do what Americana could not do in 50+ years. What is up with everyone and their instant gratification.
i have never seen a articale like this before and my eyes are tearing from this and jason falls u deserve to a true american for having a heart like this for saying the truth from every heart regardless of his faith may allah bless u
Mr Jason Falls article is the most compelling truth ever portrayed in writing by a person. Kudos Mr Falls. Never read better before.
I wrote a LONG message responding to several comments here. But at the end I realized it was fruitless. So, instead I'll write this. You want the innocents to quit dying? You want the Coalition forces to leave the country? You want peace in Iraq? Since what the coalition forces are doing there is wrong, and you are so right - you go there and make it peaceful, and my son and my brother can come home to be with their families. Put up, or shut up.
Women did not wear black for other member her family if they die, only her husband, it sould be white cloths, black is above white cloths and she would refrain make ups and other cosmatics for 6 months THIS ISLAM tradition NOT Iraqi, most of western media always ignorant mistakes like this.
Sara I am Muslim and not fanatic you fighting to fill up your SUV, my dying for cursed OIL, America will never invade Iraq if there was no OIL. You believe what every thing they (your GOV and Media) tell you, it seems you are brain washed and believe whatever you hear from FOX News and other liars. Wake up explore the world. Your Government policy are the problem, if you go lot of countries around the world you will see how people Christian, Hindu, buddies and atheist etc. hate your government polices and sometimes American people too. Go to Brazil, Philippines or Spain you will notice what other people see about your government policies, but you did not know because you get you information from the corrupted media.
I have seen many Questions like .."If we leave iraq,there will not be any more iraq.."..think who started this..5 years back,it was a peaceful place..everybody has food ,money,family and job..who destroyed everything without any reason..? Who is goig to be our next victim..? We are creating enemies faster than we can kill them..
Why do we blame our president for everything? He is not sending sucide bombers into markets to kill innicent people, We have to share some blame but we are not all at fault for the problems of the world. The base for all the fighting in the middle east is the hate they have for Isreal, they hate us because we back Isreal, neither position is going to change soon. If all our troups came home tomorrow it would not stop terror or civil war in Iraq but would cause more death.
Whether or not you agree with President Bush or Congress the reality is we as american's created the mess in Iraq and we have a moral and ethical duty to work with the rest of the world to fix it. Both sides of our government is forgetting that. I was in Iraq for 16 months and worked with Iraqi's and seen the devastation that both sides are causing to each other and to the troops that are there.
i am proud to be in this engagement for it was not too long ago that I would not have been alowed to vote, or had my voice heard just because i was female. i think every one should be able to be heard. if the vote isn't the way you want, oh well just force them to believe that it doesnt count, kill them if you must, and get your own agenda fullfilled. excuse me, but isnt this what most of you are arguing. i am happy to see that we can speak our minds. but are you going to stand by and watch someone kill me because I don't agree with your opinion? thankyou president bush and any other members of this country who think it is wrong to look the other way. these people voted for what they wanted, thinking that if they did they would be safe to do so (or at least protected until the time their votes were upheld, and now that we are being injured or hurt we want to pull out on them. shame on you and shame on us, we should be there to protect them, the government that "they" not us - voted for. sometimes the sword is mightier than the pen. i just hope that someone will keep fighting for the rights "we" as a country have voted for.
From a former soldier: 3 honorable discharges. I discharged from the military because of all the political B.S. First of all, the arogance of the little king from texas, born of the belief that he isn't accountable to anyone, because only he is the decider, failed to realize that the arabs that are involved in this failed excersise, have been living for thousands of years as an individual thinking society. Individual thinking, meaning each head of household was responsible for their individual family's survival. Tribesman. Democracy requires a collective inititave of meny to accomplish a successful society, which also requires trust of others, which is non exsistant in iraqi society. Democracy is not only not understood in that culture, it is also not possible. Little bush's incompetncy, and self believed lies, cannot generate trust from anywhere, or anybody. In the old school military, you could depend on your chain of command.. Now, everybody is worried about a political violation, and being thrown under the bus, and losing their carieers. Our deciders are insulated from consequences of their own decisions. Bush needs to put his daughters in an LAV, and only then will I believe he is willing to risk ANYTHING of his own, on his dicisions. Naturally, it continues, Do as I say, Not as I do. Holy War is the biggest oxymoron, and has the potential to Kill us all.I am still willing to fight, but only for a leader who leads by EXAMPLE. Not B.S. Quit relabeling lies that dont work. We're not stupid.
Wow! People history repeats itself as long as they are humans there will be war. That is a fact of life. We in the US have the liberty to speak are minds, that is why I love my country. And lets be realistic no matter what the US does they're never right in the eyes of other countries we are a wealthy country and that burns. People there is not and never will be any politician that will resolve all of are problems. Much prayer is what we need, God bless our troops, my hats off to them. God bless to all out there.
Wake up America 9/11 came about because George senior attacked Kuwait to get to Saddam,killing innocent people in the process.This is the arab world getting back at U.S.A.Of course after Hussein was captured why did we not let sleeping dogs lie instead of creatting so much hatred.We may mean well but would we want armed soldiers walking down our streets. Regards Fred
This will probably not be posted ....but what the heck....President Bush has a backbone...unlike most of these bloggers...in life nothing is free...like the right to free speach. Our military has gained us many rights that so many forget....rights that are thrown back in their faces...(i am not in the military by the way)...i do not need to go into depth...just read the above blogs to get the flavor....of people that do not represent the core of the United States Citizens...our heroes work for us in Iraq let them do their job...let our warriors who are trained for war..and the decisions that go with that...stay with them....backed by our President....voted by our congress....and if you vote you must do your own research....think on that...you must do your own research...your own....
The comments indicate the passion of our people, and also the complexity of the issue. The prosecutuion of this civil war has been a travesty but since we started it, what should morally we do now to protect and comfort those, like the three million widows, whom we have put in harm's way. I opposed the war, and the prosecution of the war, but I also oppose turning our backs on the millions of displaced Iraqis, those Iraqis who do not have infrastructure left for commerce or comfort in their homes, or safety on their streets. What is our moral responsbility now that we have created this situation? We cannot abandon the people we have done this damage to. So what is the answer? I wish I knew, but it is not the continued participation in a civil war. Perhaps, it is the most massive Marshall Plan since WWII, with the EU and Arabian states and Asian states participating in a universal commitment to restructure Iraq and help its people resume normalcy.
its the great game again, same game, sligthly different players, same prize - oil and world domination. The whole war was started on falsehoods and whoever instigated it should have to pay reparation to country they have proceeded to ruin systmatically - all in the name of democracy and freedom. They must take us all for fools.
the US invasion of iraq on behalf of israel and oil companies is the cause of all the atrocities in iraq.the destruction of iraq,s infrastructure was deliberatley caused by western imperialism so the reign of zionist terror can go on unopposed by the main adversary of israel which happened to be iraq.no wonder lieberman,shumer and other zionists and their mercenaries want this criminal racist war to continue.the true losers in this criminal war are the american people and in particular the iraqis who have lost more than a milion of their population through genocidal sanctions and attacks by zionist dominated american regime.
A Big Mac mentality started this war. Most Americans probably had no idea of where Iraq was on a map before 1990. So why was the war started? Because the Dictator (who was our friend and kept Iran from inciting radical religious views to other parts of the Mideast), stopped being our friend? No one believes WMD or Al Quetta ties anymore, so our grand justification is now to bring Democracy into the region. Who gave us the right to decide what type of government other countries should have? Are we equating superpower status as the right to occupy countries? I joined the US Army as an Intelligence Analyst/Russian Linguist to try a stop another superpower from doing the exact same thing. But enough about the beginning of the war; the question is what to do now. Do we stay as an occupying power for the next 10 years? Do we leave and hope the regional alliances (which are now becoming more vocal) control extremists and establish boarders for each fundamentalist group? Neither answer is right, and there will be thousands of deaths either way. Regardless of what we do, I believe there will be another (terrorist, freedom fighter, warrior of God, etc) attack in America. Who do we then blame then? Al Quetta, Sunnis, Shiites, Saudis’, Iranians, Muslims? We, in one way or another, have made them all hate us long before 911, but now they know to hurt, divide and confuse us. I do not claim to have any answers (nor pretend to have any idea of the surface problems I just glossed over), but believe education would be helpful. Back to the Big Mac mentality; I saw a British comedy bit where the reporter asked Americans if we should go to war with Uzbekistan because they are a threat to the United States. Almost every one said yes. It reminded me of the ignorance most of my Russian Instructors described before they emigrated, in the Soviet Union population,. I did not believe an entire country could blindly accept what they were told, but after this war, I firmly believe in the stupidity of man, no matter where they live. Now I have go, because McDonalds is about to close, and in this black and white world, I really need a Big Mac.
Yes, Saddam is gone. Yes, they do have a constitution. Yes, they did vote. TIME TO LEAVE.
“The price of freedom is a heavy burden; but at some point, the price becomes too great of a burden that it crushes us.”
For those who think that the US leaving Iraq right now before we secure a peace is wrong, we have no choice. The reason we must leave so hastily is because some idiot sent us in there with no exit strategy. It's not Congress that must find a peace plan because there isn't one. It was Bush's job and, as usual, he botched it and ignored it. When we invade without an exit strategy then how can we leave in an orderly fashion? It was never planned out and so such a plan does not exist. We don't have a moral duty to fix the mess Bush created; Bush has that moral duty but he neither recognizes that nor has any idea how to go about fixing the mess he created. So we have to leave. Staying is not an option. Face it, people, we're going to leave Iraq exactly the same way we left Vietnam if Bush is allowed to continue. Congress must withhold funding and force the administration to start bringing our people home. Don't blame "liberals" for this--blame your president. Btw, I am not a liberal, I am a proud veteran who served in the Middle East.
I fully agree that Iraq is a disaster and I feel quite bad about that. But, in terms of the widows issue, maybe a negative can bring a positive here. Maybe this will be an opportunity for Iraqi women to decide their own fate for once. I would love to see those women take off the blackness that covers and limits them. These women should join together, help each other, educate each other, and change their role in society to a productive, outspoken, and determined one. I would love to see some of those women form the new government there (with the help of the US). Who knows, that just might help lead to peace in the region.
Mike (NM), I wouldn't be so proud for the US supporting Israel. The atrocities that they commit there are beyond what one can imagine, which you would know if you got any of your news from a source other than conventional US media but since the majority of Americans are so used to getting all of life's needs at such ease they think that accurate information can be obtained at the same speed as they pick up their fast food every night.
There are so many points to make about 9/11, the war in Iraq and Al Qaeda that it's easy to forget that they are not all entirely related. Al Qaeda staged 9/11, not Saddam. In retribution for 9/11, the world should have been hearing about the war in Afghanistan and Pakistan; the places where Al Qaeda had mainly been centered. Instead, we all heard about the war in Iraq. But why Iraq? It wasnt about democracy... that was just an after thought. It obviously wasnt about "Peace in the Middle East" because that would've have been better addressed in Jerusalem. It wasnt even about religion, because we Americans should know that everyone has a right to believe or to not believe. If the issue was Oil or potential WMDs, we couldve invaded Libya or Iran. We know why there was a war... countries become rich from war... we're able to employ our own people to rebuild other countries and investments substantially increase. But again I ask, WHY IRAQ??? I am scared to believe that it was only Iraq because of an "unfinished agenda." If America really wanted retribution for 9/11, it would have found it in Afghanistan and Pakistan. Al Qaeda is still there, but the opposition has become much stronger, more determined and increasingly diverse (Madrid Train Bombings, London Underground Bombings, Indonessian nightclub Bombings, Sharm el-Sheik Bombings). Now Iraq is left with a deeper sectarian divide and a humanitarian nightmare. We should replace our troops with more food, clean water and electricity. The money for Iraq is being wasted. If you want someone to stop hating you for terrorizing them, you dont approach them with a gun or with far off ideals; you approach them with smiles and peaceful assistance. The Iraqi people need food, water and electricity. When they receive what they need, then you will see the hate start to subside and humanity emerge.
Hey Nichole, some Americans may be naive about one-sided news coverage, but you sound just as naive about assuming Americans eat fast food every night. That's like me saying that all French people only eat croissants and Spanish people only eat ham. Applying sterotypes to people is quite lame. By the way, many Americans are vegetarians...following the wise words of Morrissey...meat is murder.
Your soldiers are just a bunch of murderers dressed up in military clothing. We Canadians are sickened by your lack of care for Iraqi civilians - do you know how many have died? No, why not?
The money we spent in Iraq would've paid for healthcare insurance for the US population. Whether the reason for invasion is just or not is not important. How we handle the next 2 years is. We cannot let politicians run military matters. Yes, let them run the budget, but telling generals how to fight wars is counter productive. How can men and women who have not served tell solders how to fight and when. The US will eventually leave Iraq, but it needs to be US terms. Whether people believe it or not, Iraq is not under a dictatorship, but is democracy. The people in the ME need to realize it and stop the violence. Why can't people put aside religious differences and join together and rebuild a country that was run into the ground before the invasion. They can benefit from US interest in oil. Roads need to built, schools to educate labor, etc. But no, they'd rather fight over what music can be played or the shaving of beards and shoot at soldiers in tanks. The mullahs, clerics, and other fundamentalist leaders need to get their heads out of 7th century beliefs and join the West in the new millenium for the benefit of all.
Let us think of what will happened not what had happened...Iraqi Have been in fighting for years, lets help them for beter life not continue to kill them..Dont forget gas and maskers by brotel regaim...
People. The war we are fighting is senseles. I have read all the comments and it reminds me of what was being said by our goverment during the Vietnam War (I am a combat veteran of that war) "We have to stop the commies now. Its a dominoe effect." What bull! If we had stuck with the plan after the attack and gone after the Taliban and El Quida right now we would be heroes instead of Imperialist. Its my firm belief, that if you don't have a fighting age son or daughter that you are willing to sacrafice to this war, then your comments should be limited to what you are able and willing to contribute. I have two sons and a daughter and I am not willing to sacrafice them to this war within Iraq. Everyone knows we don't belong there and we are only encouraging insurgency, not controlling or eliminating it. Send Ambassadors and assistance not blood and guts. End this war, Now! Bring our men and women home.
So lets see we should of never had Revolutionary War Civil War, World War One and Two? Im sure there were no deaths or widows. So we should of done nothing when Saddam invaded another country? I'm not understanding this attitude of sit around wait to see how many people these dictors kill. How many times are we going to take attacks from these people? They refuse hello refuse to work with the UN. How many times has he broken agreement with the UN? So tell me oh peace lovers how do you work with countries who flat out refuse to work with you. Maybe do what Clinton did ignore it bomb asprin factories and it will go away. Even with Clinton in office they tried to bomb the World Trade Center even before that with other presidents with other targets. We have to be in the mid east plan and simple we need govenments there that are stable and ones that want to bring peace. After all isn't that what you peace people want. Well I got news for you just like freedom peace comes with a price.
As an older American, I have seen our country rise to defend others who can't defend themselves. Saddam was a bad guy. So were Hitler, Mussolini, Franco, Milosevich, Stalin, Hirohito, etc. etc. --- and unfortunately many tyrants we supported (and still support) only because it fit (and fits) our ideology at the time. If we blindly follow leaders, we are no better or stronger than the people who follow the dictators we hate. It's time, independent of Bush, to determine whether the president or the people of the US are superior. We have always asserted that the president serves the people --- not the other way around. We must now step in to stop another wannabe dictator: Bush. This man believes he serves no one but his own will --- and his own will is muddled and bent to personal self-interest. Let's stop this Iraqi war before it becomes a war in the US. The people of the mideast are fully capable of handling their own problems at this point. They know more about Iraq than we do.
Very sad story - I notice many women in black in photos. Saddam wasn't mentioned as causing most of these widows, and also most have been created by "fellow" Muslims. Hopefully they will be able to make their religion peaceful someday so the different sects will stop killing each other.
To Jorge: there has been strife within Islam ever since Mohammed died. The US was foolish to get involved in their religious feuds. Hatfields and McCoys worked out their problems, hopefully Muslims will do the same so they and the rest of the world can live more peacefully.
We are starting a new TV Show with Steve Wilkos and we are wanting to do a single parent of the month and for our first one we want to do a widow from iraq with children if you konw anyone who fits this description than please contact me, Kevin Branson or Holly Bry at jsproducer7@aol.com thank you


SEND A COMMENT

PLEASE READ: All comments must be approved before appearing in the thread; time and space constraints prevent all comments from appearing. We will only approve comments that are directly related to the blog, use appropriate language and are not attacking the comments of others.

Message (please, no HTML tags. Web addresses will be hyperlinked):

TRACKBACKS

Trackbacks are links to weblogs that reference this post. Like comments, trackbacks do not appear until approved by us. The trackback URL for this post is: http://worldblog.msnbc.msn.com/trackback.aspx?PostID=105681

Syndicate This Site

Add World Blog to your news reader:
live.com xml
myyahoo msn
bloglines newsgator
google

Interactive

Fight for Iraq
Learn more about the ethnic, religious and political power plays in and around Iraq during a briefing of the region led by NBC’s Richard Engel.